I see

In the closing hours of the night my brain wakes up continually, Shh, it’s whirring away, Changes in my brain. It turns up the heat on my life, forever waking up in the early hours of the morning. I would so love to sleep through the night. Life is so different now with God in your life, I am now armed with new depths of thinking, I see words now coming from me I never used before in my life. I’m not sure how or even quite sure I understand what has happened to me. But what I can tell you, that I know my life is coming from quietly different place that I have never been in before.

The freshness of a new life, the changes in my character, unrestricted life, has given birth to something I never expected to feel in my life. Changes can be dangerous in life, but what has made its way into my life, these early mornings I wake, is real and honest, and packed with simplicity, countless different emotions all at the same time. These things do happen in life, I would’ve never believed it before, but with God in your life anything is possible and all things can be made new again.

As I continue to dive into life now with Brandy, my new dog in my life. She was a pure gift from God we bonded so much in 3 short weeks. There is now more time to play, than I had before with Tibby and Charlie.

Today life is exciting the changes I’ve made, new people I am meeting all the time, new adventures, sometimes boldness. Life is within my grasp, sometimes a little out of reach. This life is now part of me, I have never felt this good about life.

The way life was dictated to me, the rules I followed, although meekly, have somehow now gone out the window. I’m not lost anymore; I’m coming to know me as me.

I never thought that I could feel like this addicted to life, life is exciting when we give God a chance in life, it’s strange at first. Fulfilling.

It’s strange to feel satisfied with life, I know I will have my ups and downs still, but I’m statisfied how I am growing as a person. I’ve landed myself on my feet now. I read back over the words I’ve written about my life, my words have grown along with me. It might sound silly but it is true.

I have actually worked out why my writing to some degree has come to a standstill at times, because I’m now at peace with my soul. Excited about living.

 

There was a time

 

So many life changes have come into my life. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to believe it is me living this life. I am feeling pretty good and pleased.

Sometimes old doubts creep into my mind, I have to shake myself and tell the dangerous doubting thoughts to get out. Those times are hard and tough going, but with the help of many around me and most of all knowing God is in my life. I get through.

There have been times lately when I have wondered if I’ll ever be free of the life I led before. With so many things happen it’s hard to keep the past where it should be, in the past. The scars are slowly passing, fading, they will fade further over time. I have had trouble believing in myself, today I’ve come to the point where I do.

The person that cause so much heart ache over time in my life is slowly fading as well, but unfortunately, news creeps through. Refreshing the memories, now I move past those time quickly, but I feel for those in the city that deals with it most of the time.

I love the quiet in my life now, no arguments, no yelling, no hiding. Finally I feel as though there is peace in my life. At the moment I am looking after friends dogs for about a fortnight, I was anxious a bit, thoughts of my dogs came flashing before my eyes, which is only natural after all I had them for the best part of 20yrs. Today as my friends left for Sydney, I have felt comfortable with the dogs, really I don’t know what I was worried about. Almost as though I have never been away from dogs.

To express the feeling of how I attained peace in my life is puzzling to me. Many say it is simple because I have “God” in my life but I often wonder is it as simple as that. Maybe it is. My trouble is I have been looking for so many answers, but it has been before my eyes all the time.

I truly don’t know how I got through all the years of turmoil in my life before without “God”, many times I coould’ve taken my life but continued pushing through, to get where I am now. There are many I know that don’t have g”God” or any sort of belief in their life. I became tired of the answer one foot after another, I knew there had to be a better way, I guess I found it.
(c)bjsscribbles

 

There was a time,

When I didn’t have all the answers

Who’s to say that I do now

Who’s to say anyone does

I remember many saying

“What goes around comes around”

I believe, now

The many tears that have passed in time

Tears pass away, then you finally see

Life is alright, whatever you do

Memories, come back to you

You remember it is all true

Life is alright, whatever you do

It’s coming back, to you

The passion of life caught between

The beauty of a rose and the remains of life covered in ashes

At the end of your rope

You don’t want to feel, you don’t want to be seen this way

There is hope, your hanging on to hope

The nights will turn around

You’ll be found, and someday you will rise again

Life is alright, whatever you do

Memories, may come back to you

You remember it is all true

Life is alright, whatever you do

It’s coming back, to you

There is hope, your hanging on to hope

The nights will turn around

With God in your life.

 

(c)bjsscribbles

With God’s world

Thoughts, carry on the breath of wings
I hold my thoughts close
Skillfulness deep within
We send our thoughts forth
To fill the world

Our innermost thoughts
Messages the remotest spot
Leaving a message of blessing
Or messages of woes
Leaving footsteps behind as it flows

I remember, its all in Gods timing
My body is still, as I sit thinking my thoughts
All the thoughts I have not known
Or dare to share, and yet thoughts when alone

Today my thoughts have life
They fly, on the wind, with the breath of God
Impressing me, as the leave
A breath flows into my home
Following me, with messages

At the time when we forget
There are times when we outgrow our thoughts
A thought that vanishes, sometimes
Will make it back to your mind
Finding it home as a companion
Nesting in your mind

Share your secret thoughts
A vital part of life
Shaping your world
Molding life
Within Gods world

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Thoughts

We pen our thoughts
Yet they do not need wings
My thoughts are mine to share
I share my goals

Lightning thoughts quietly grow
They roam from soul to soul
Sometimes they hide in my heart
Behind a wall of fear
With the power to suffer
God shares his love
So we can think love
Although at times we don’t speak it
Love shows the world light
Bringing us out of the darkness

(c)bjsscribbles

Amen

Today I remind myself, God You have given me life.

I have to at times keep reminding myself how far I have traveled in a few short years. Especially sorting out my life after last year, a few things have gone wrong since I finished with long term pain meds. I have been able to handle the fallout to a degree. The most I have been praying about is my lungs have deteriorated further since I was first diagnosed with COPD in 2013. The results of second hand smoke, most of us that grew up in the 50,60,and 70’s were around smoke for a good many years. I never smoked, I would’ve been in deep trouble if I did, especially from my parents. When you live with someone who did this is the outcome. I am not angry about it, I have to keep moving and praying about it and staying in God’s word or Satan gets a foot hold. Being a new Christian you have to be careful. Depression and Anxiety is not in my vocabulary anymore.

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Sometimes I have trouble believing
Believing I am sitting here in peace
I smile, look out the window
Thinking of words to write
As the sun beams through my window
God you have given me, life

The sun shines in the hill’s of Adelaide
Dew sits on the grass, crackling under foot
But right now I am home, where I want to be
In the hills of Adelaide, loved and at peace
I have never felt so much peace in my life
Praise God, God you have been Good to me

God showed me, there is a place where you can grow
In the Hills of Adelaide, where life is alive
In the praise of God, I planted the seed of God
For everything I have, and I see is God’s creation
God you have given me, life

The road’s been long and winding, rocky to at times
I was lost when I first came here, I searched the darkness
Leaning on my Faith, searching for the light
Satan has tried to pull me away, my Faith in God has grown
Stronger each day, God, You gave me a reason to live

God placed me in this valley, a valley where paradise lives
Where my dreams and body and soul have come alive
In the praise of God, planted the seed of God
For everything I have, and I see is God’s creation
God you have given me, life now You are in my heart

Today I remind myself, God You have given me life.
In Jesus name Amen

John 14:26 But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things, and will remind you of all that I said to you.

Acts 2:29 “As to the patriarch David, I need hardly remind you, brethren, that he died and was buried, and that we still have his tomb among us.

John 12:25 Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone …
Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their
life in this world will keep it for eternal life. …

Two lives-one beginning now

It all seems like yesterday
Had I but lingered in yesterday
Yet it was a long time ago
Yes we are called-yet we must go
I had a dream once, yet today it is all but forgotten
Have all that once were children forgotten
Dreams that were once life
As the sun shines, deep within my eyes
My dream of life

Slowly a wall rose, protection
With infinite affliction, a wall of protection
Between me and my life, my dreams of life
With arms folded, the flimsy light arms folded
Creating shadows of light, surrounding me

As the sun shines, deep within my eyes
We lie down in shadows, trying to remember
Yet today it is all but forgotten, no longer the light of my dreams
I have walked through a wall in my dreams
The wall now only a shadow of my dreams

Dreams that were once life
Where are they now
In the darkness
From the darkness of the night
Into the light of day
Images of decades of dreams
A blur of life, each year of my life
Now before me as I walk into the sun
It all seems like yesterday
Had I but lingered in yesterday
Yet it was a long time ago

New dreams now
Two lives-one beginning now

(c)bjsscribbles

Our thoughts come to pass

My mind is my master
A power that molds
Vision held by the master
A power that molds and makes
And statement makes

Boundless we take
From the master
Shaping what we will
The mind is a power and a master
Shaping our thought patterns

Thousands of joys created
The ills inherited
Brought forth by joys created
Our thoughts come to pass
In secret, our world defined
By a mirror, held within my mind

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Building a better world

As we thrive
To the sights and sounds of all things living
We hope we are building a better world
But first we must improve as individuals

We must work together, for our own improvement
And at the same time, as part of the human race
Share the responsibility for all humanity

Our thoughts and duty being to those
In need of help, try to give aid to those
We can be most useful to

Each day as we walk out into the world
We try to help, and do well
But more importantly each day
Remember, go into the world
And offer a helping hand
Building a better world
For those still to come

(c)bjsscribbles

Draw your life amid a thousand sketches

Draw your life amid a thousand sketches
Amid a thousand sketches, I see shadows
I try to get inside your mind, searching
For an opened door, to let your troubles float
Thoughts, troubled, sketches, so dark
I pick up your sketches to carry you with me

I frame the love you shared
Paint your love, on my heart
I lift up your heart to my embrace
Gathering your art within my soul
To free you from your darkness
I fold your dreams, to free you from all
I wish to carry you away
To place, your hate behind you
To trace, now a place of love and desire

Far away from all you have ever known
There is a place far away secluded in endless happiness
To create a perfect world separated from all
Created from my heart to yours
Leaving behind a thousand sketches of darkness

(c)bjsscribbles

Lost

Have you ever been lost?
Thoughts, reflections,
And wholly given over to complex thoughts,
Stand still,

Lost in thoughts,
Reflections, move about
Thoughts move about,
Your complex mind,

Stand still,
Let your thoughts settle,
Reflections will settle,
As your mind settles,

Your imagination will calm you,
Imagine a forest standing before you,
They are not lost, trees, and bushes are never lost,
Stand still, and listen to the sounds in your heart,
Listen with your eyes, listen with your senses,

You are in a place called home,
And yet you treat it as a perfect stranger,
The forest has been your safety,
Your imagination has been your safety,

Listen to the breeze that flows,
Past your senses, see the breeze as the branches swirl,
Sounds of the forests leads you to the heart of all,
You know the safety of this forest, you return,
Time and again with your thoughts and reflections,

Birds return each year, familiar with branches,
As though they had radar, they know their way,
Especially at nesting time,
Stand still listen to the breeze,
Listen to the trees, listen to your senses,
Listen to your heart, the birds, stand still,
If what your forest does, in your mind,
Puzzles you,

Then your mind is in a whirlwind,
You are lost in a world of no-where,
Let your forest know you are there,
Let your heart and mind find who you are,

Have faith, God will help
And you will know who you are.
Amen

(c)bjsscribbles