This is a personal post for me, but something I needed to do, to finish getting me over the line this week.
I need to do this study today, Forgiveness; forgiveness is eating at me this week. Continually I have prayed for forgiveness for those that have hurt me in my life, I once had a whole list then after praying destroyed it in the bin. I still continually pray for forgiveness, but when something goes wrong and it is not your fault it is hard to forgive at least it is for me.
But is you don’t forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your failing and shortcomings. Mark 11:25-26
Prayer is vital, the desire to pray for forgiveness, the desire to keep moving forward in life, in order to reach our goal of peace. Well it is for me, that is all my desire is, is to forgive and live in peace. I know we don’t always live in peace, in life we have to face what hurts us. None of us really enjoy taking responsibility for our own actions or problem areas in life. Believe me I have plenty, some I have pushed deep down, but by doing that it is not going to set me free.
I am preparing to do some work with my psychologist on forgiveness and deeper work into my subconscious. One special point at the moment is “Emphysema”, even though I had lung problems as a child, unfortunately I lived with a smoker for far too long. I have to be careful what I put up on my blog now. But as a baby boomer we lived and worked with people, also socialised with smoke, even if you were not a smoker.
The decision to forgive is very emotional, it is for me, I need to keep forgiving, over and over. Maybe some will write in the comments about their forgiveness journey. It is not an easy thing to do I know. With the support group I have around me, they guide me, my heart has softened a great deal, my heart was truly broken and my healing has taken a while. I keep reminding myself to be patient, and keep coming to God.
Treasured friends shared this quote with me from ““Job” For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, but God keeps him busy with the Joy in his heart.”
We learn more and more each day to depend on God; “I ask can we depend now on God to help us through life, by inviting him in every day?. It’s funny I was so strong and independent when I arrived in the valley, but I know now, I had to open my door and let God in. I was very self-reliant the walls thoroughly surrounded me. Setting down the walls of Jericho depending on the Holy Spirit I remind myself today I am ready to forgive in the name of Jesus.
Changing my heart has been one of the hardest things I have had to do towards people in my life that have hurt me. The point to remember for me is that no-one can truly hurt me anymore by putting my trust in God, even though they can hurt us, God is always there ready to heal us.
I know for myself, I have so many emotions built up inside from many years of abuse, they are gradually fading as I managed them better each year. With God’s continued help.
In Jesus name Amen
There are many prayers for forgiveness but I like this one.
A Prayer for Forgiveness
1 Be merciful to me, O God,
because of your constant love.
Because of your great mercy
wipe away my sins!
2 Wash away all my evil
and make me clean from my sin!
3 I recognize my faults;
I am always conscious of my sins.
4 I have sinned against you—only against you—
and done what you consider evil.
So you are right in judging me;
you are justified in condemning me.
5 I have been evil from the day I was born;
from the time I was conceived, I have been sinful.
6 Sincerity and truth are what you require;
fill my mind with your wisdom.
7 Remove my sin, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
8 Let me hear the sounds of joy and gladness;
and though you have crushed me and broken me,
I will be happy once again.
9 Close your eyes to my sins
and wipe out all my evil.
10 Create a pure heart in me, O God,
and put a new and loyal spirit in me.
11 Do not banish me from your presence;
do not take your holy spirit away from me.
12 Give me again the joy that comes from your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
13 Then I will teach sinners your commands,
and they will turn back to you.
14 Spare my life, O God, and save me,[b]
and I will gladly proclaim your righteousness.
15 Help me to speak, Lord,
and I will praise you.
16 You do not want sacrifices,
or I would offer them;
you are not pleased with burnt offerings.
17 My sacrifice is a humble spirit, O God;
you will not reject a humble and repentant heart.
18 O God, be kind to Zion and help her;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then you will be pleased with proper sacrifices
and with our burnt offerings;
and bulls will be sacrificed on your altar… Amen