The layers of life

As I pull back the layer of my life, it’s like peeling an onion, sometimes there is a few tears, sometimes buckets. Then you begin to see things in a new light. Shaking the very foundation of your life, I’ve had to face the reality of life and my actions, trusting yourself is so important.
Recently I have been meandering around looking at pictures of myself since I started this journey, searching different layers of my healing. The innermost mask I wore for so many years was staring at me, waiting for me to peel back the layer that haunted me for so many years. I’ve looked at that picture and searched the realities of that life, a hundred years ago now. It seems like forever. I understood what had existed then and it now scares me to think of that life and how it was back then.
I’ve put that journey behind me now, those areas of my life are too hot to handle, I’ve dealt with everything, sometimes they hurt, but I am able to deal with them now, working through the pain has allowed me to heal. I’ve healed in so many ways. The landscaping around the tree of life, has started to look complete, as I approach the next step of my life. I never thought I could even think I would be living the way I am. It’s time for living.
The next chapter or box in my life is slowly opening, there are unhandled situations. I’ve chosen a different walk in life now and that has paved the way for the person I am now. I can see now who I am and I am enjoying being me.
My world has shifted, unfolding on deeper levels of healing, no matter what has happened in the past. Life is not finished it’s just unfolding differently now. I know I’ve only scratched the surface. Of my new life.

Many years ago I thought I was over growing pains but they are with me now, I’ve been scared about committing to anything. But the other part of me pushed myself into committing to a few things, digging deep into energy that was left, taking steps to grow into the next step of healing.

People have been talking to me lately about writing my testimony, it means going back over my story. Refining life. I have written a great deal, one heck of a lot, there is still much I need to explore, I have to find the energy to dive into it all. The path has to begin soon, wandering back through all the dark caverns of ones life, illuminating everything good or bad. How much baggage I’ve held onto.
With a road map in hand and a compass, I will take that journey.

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

There is a stillness in the air.

I found my deep sense of truth when I settled in a sleepy valley; I walked the ridges, hills, which bring a swift chill on a spring morning as you walk. Spending time here on my own, I held onto so many questions, I’ve needed answers for so many years. Interestingly while I know it would be beneficial to have answers, I didn’t know how hard it would be to reflect on the answers.

There is something about wandering, the trails of a sleepy valley, it brings out the joy, the spirit of God flows in my heart when I walk. There is a stillness that makes me delve into a deeper level of conversation with God. There is nothing between me and God to disturb our conversation, no outside influences. Just me, the fresh air how great the feeling.

Life becomes so much clearer as I walk; constant chatter from white noise disappears. It’s just me being me; no mask is needed as I walk. It just you or me walking, it can be challenging. During good and bad days, when I’m down walking is hard.

A liberating as walking is, there is always work to do. I see a path as I walk, I wonder where it will lead or if I was meant to travel this path. So many things I let go of as I walk. Disappointments, achievements, yet I create my life. Sometimes opportunities I see for a quick moment, God’s vision for me.

Now as each day rolls into one sometimes, I realise it’s the way life has always been. There’s no more to add or anything else to take away, or to place in a box closing the lid and forgetting that part of life happened. As hard as it is to let go of annoying habits, that have haunted me for many years. Today there are still possibilities. Now life is revealed, and everything has a clear intention.

Many things will change for me over the next few months and into the New Year. I have discovered a new world with God. I know I’m not done yet, there is so much more life ahead of me, I’ve had a taste of life and new experiences

Many things are going to change over this year. Last year with all of my traveling represented a opportunity for discovering the world. I know I’m not done yet but I’ve had a great taste of what that experience is like. My world has changed.

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

 

Strength and determination

Strength and determination
As uncertain as destiny
Gathers in our mind
Lightening moments, bolt, shock, stimulate
Frivolous in flight, strength and determination
With my head held hight
Determination gives strength
From soul to soul, across my world
As a birds wings flutter
And the thoughts we utter
As forests touch the wind
Wings flutter, across my world

Dreams galore gather
Clouding my vision
At times bitter thoughts have power
To hide gnawing, corroding, my mind
Destroying the brightest light
Think love in determination
There’s hope in strength anew
Dreaded thoughts, give determination
The right to succeed
Renovating a blessed life
With the sword of faith held high

(C)bjsscribbles

Renovating your heart, Renovating your thoughts

Thoughts how they gather
Words are thoughts
Gathered in our mind
They don’t need wings
To fly
Lightening bolt moments
That gather, from soul to soul
As a birds wings flutter

 

A bitter thought has the power to hide
Gnawing at your heart, hiding
It still has the power to corrode
Destroying your mind

If we think love
There is times when we don’t
Yet we can encourage love
Lighting the world
Renovating your heart
Renovating your thoughts

Matthew 12:25 Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.

Exodus 28:3 You shall speak to all who are wise-hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom, that they make Aaron’s garments to sanctify him, that he may minister to me in the priest’s office.

(c)bjsscribbles

Ephesians 6-10-18

 

 

Don’t be afraid, Don’t be threatened, peace is about
Be strong in faith
With the Helmet of God, there is strength in Salvation
Salvation in the mind protected by God
The mighty power of the hemet of salvation
Against the rulers that once controlled our mind
Binding the powers of the dark world
So that when the day of evil comes, you can stand your ground
Stand firm now with the breast plate of righteousness in God’s sprit, the belt of truth
Tucked around your waist, stand firm in righteousness and truth
Extinguish evil from your mind, free yourself to be alive
Lets mend the broken spirit with the sword of the spirit
There is a mystery of feelings that God can hear
Only he knows, Pray in the spirit, only God can give you salvation
God has heard so many stories, be alert, that when ever God speaks his words
The mystery of God’s world evolves, Your feet are now comfortable in readiness for all that comes in peace.

(c)bjsscribbles

Ephesians 6:10-18King James Version (KJV)

10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.

11 Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

14 Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

15 And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

16 Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

17 And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God:

18 Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

In pursuit of life

When nothing goes to plan along the pathway to peace
When we think of the pathway to success
life  never comes in a straight path
It arrives, but it’s all over the place
Advance and retreat, Advance and retreat
So many times
That’s how it is for everyone
Two steps forward, two steps backward
I’ve talked about mistakes
Learning from mistakes
When life goes array
Time and time again
Trying, keep moving forward
In pursuit of goals

There was a time
When I sat still
Huddled in a corner
I thought about success
Going about life, in a blurr

Now pursuing life
Your part of life
I feel life each day

When we know where we are going
We will get there, I know I will
I know I’ve paid a price
Nothing has come easy
And it still doesn’t

Pursuing life
Paying the price
Rewards are coming my way
Dreams are being fulfilled
(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

Walk on through

When you walk
Through a storm
Beneath the heaves of storm
Hold your head high
Through the darkness of the storm
Do not be afraid
Walk on through
There is an end to the storm
A golden sky
The sweet sounds of birds
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Carry your dreams, though they may be
Tossed about, in the storm of life
Walking through the storm carry your hopes in your heart
You’ll never walk alone, God is always at your side
You’ll never walk alone, God is always at your side

(c)bjsscribbles

I feel the wind but the tears

Minutes of uncertainty
The many chilly hours
I desire the warmth
Of your mind
I feel the wind
Your all around me chilly
I take your hand feeling you circle me
And try to catch the wind again
I hide behind your smile at sunset
Day fades into night
Everywhere I look
I try to find you
The sweetest sounds of desire
Would make me sing
I feel the wind but the tears
As the rain comes wiping tears
Behind the walls of the wind
Standing by your heart
Longing to catch the wind
I try to find you

(c0bjsscribblesFeatured Image -- 6882

 

 

 

Passenger of life

When we are searching
Looking for direction
Let your heart guide you
Our dreams fall apart
Broken to dust
Times when we have troubles
Trusting, as long as life endures

Let the signs remind us
We are passengers of life
Let the signs remind us
Let go, surrender
I was once lost

Faith had died
There was no spark
The lights had gone out
Courage can fail you
When all the hope of life runs dry
When the flesh and heart fail

Let the signs remind us
We are passengers of life
Let the signs remind us
Let go, surrender
I was once lost

We’ve been here so long
Following the bright shinning sun
Find comfort in God’s promises
Find inner peace, the hunger doesn’t cease.
(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

Thinking about life

Lately I’ve had to do a great deal of thinking about my life, putting parts of life in boxes, sticking them away, or closing the book.  Some people i n life just don’t understand what you do, to start a new life, rebuilding. A lot here do and some special bloggers understand. This is part of what I have been doing this year.

 

 

There is a saying, “You didn’t walk in my shoes”
Our steps are our and ours alone

Many things in my life have changed
It’s been a lifetime, that I’ve cleansed away
Can you imagine, the heart break?
There are many I know who can
The heartbreaking moments
You move through
There are many moments
You think it is impossible to get through

Reflection, just on the past year
The healing of the mind
I’ve made mistakes in my life
Many of them I might add
I’ve covered some important aspects of my life
Moments not shared with anyone else
Closing that book was hard.

I am not perfect now
I never will be
But I still have morals
That brings out the best in me

I’ve thought a lot about my life
What it has really meant to me
So now when I make a mistake
It doesn’t wrench at my heart
I have feelings, my heart has softened

I’ve had moments lately
Where feelings, are hurt
I can move through

I’ve thought about my life
And what people will say about me
My walk in later life
My steps in making a new life
Have taken courage
Strength, honesty, and joy
There have been many shaky moments
That many have understood
But most of the time, people see me

Staying in the moment, staying present
Feelings, thoughts, truth, faith
Are with me, carrying me through
Life goes at a slower pace now
I listen to my heart
That’s made me change
Starting over in life, is fun
Because now it what I see in life
Not what has gone before
There are some that see my changes
As me
But now they are my changes
I changed my vision of life
To become me and all that I am now
Life is just beginning
(c)bjsscribbles