Try closing our eyes, “How do we see our future?” I have not looked into my future now for some time. I know God is walking with me. When I close my eyes all I wish to do is rest now. I know that sound old school, but that is when I seem to find peace.
My imagination takes me on a ride when I am wake. I see things, and feel things and let my imagination run wild during the day. Things will happen as I act upon them
Each and every step has taken me to this point in my life, there are times when I thought I would not make it. My thoughts my actions, the good and the bad. Everything I have generated has come from many who showed me the way, and how my life could be. I don’t know where God is going to lead me, I know the last few years had their good and bad points, but the next can be better. Many questions about life have rooted themselves in my mind, some questions impossible to answer. Patience and moments clarity have shown me what I am looking for, these moments have come in small pieces of reality. I have been reconnecting with people, I haven’t seen in many years. My desire to dream the bigger picture of life.
I had dreams before but they were always shot down in flames, broken promises. I wasn’t myself, but now I am all in doing my own things without being dependent on others and that is the most awesome feeling in life that could happen to me. I was one of those that, being oppressed in life, my life was falling away before I was ready to let it.
I had to reconnect with myself before I could let others into my life. It was almost like growing pain, we all remember those, how painful they were. These past handful of years have been amazing, growing, living, challenging. I have written, of the challenges, it’s not easy re-building. The difficulty has been a gift from God, to grow from adversity, forging stronger ties with God, and the people around me. There was part of me that drifted, floating.
Depression, came close many times, life stopped still, it was frustrating, yet there was a deeper connection closer now. Sending me to God and deeper in prayer. Life came again, and I charged forward with a sense of purpose, stronger than I ever experienced before. Solidifying my faith. There have been continued challenges, moments when I relapse into the old ways. Times of deeper connection, with this wiser self, has bought me to a much better place in life. The gift of life.
The way I am heading I know there is the heart of God there, continuing on a path I know is true.
This is how I see myself now, not perfect. God has washed away the sins of the past, so now life can be a pure as cotton wool.
18 Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.