I pour out my thoughts to you

Reminding myself God is with us all through everything. A few words of wisdom I scribbled myself this morning.

 

 

The wisdom of God’s word
Permeates my soul
I pour out my thoughts to you

Look out an ambush maybe near
But since you refuse to listen
I wonder if you would do it again
I shouldn’t mind a little????

I couldn’t hear properly
By wisdom is the earths foundation
By understanding the heavens and faith
By knowledge the watery depths divide us
Life is more precious than desire
Nothing can compare

Look out for a surprise attack
Set priorities, the time is right
Plan ahead, many a day is ripe
A need for anticipation

Then you will understand
For wisdom will enter your heart
Discretion will protect you
As God protects the way
Love and faithfulness will never leave

(c)bjsscribbles

Psalm 116

1
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
2
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

Isaiah 43New International Version (NIV)
Israel’s Only Savior

43 But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you, Jacob,
he who formed you, Israel:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.

Psalm 149

1
Praise the Lord.

Sing to the Lord a new song,
his praise in the assembly of his faithful people.

2
Let Israel rejoice in their Maker;
let the people of Zion be glad in their King.

Psalm 72

18
Praise be to the Lord God, the God of Israel,
who alone does marvelous deeds.
19
Praise be to his glorious name forever;
may the whole earth be filled with his glory.
Amen and Amen.

 

Trusting in God’s Salvation

I have a cup of warm soup beside me; it is cold and wet in South Australia. I look out of my window and find rain is doing my garden good. I’ve done the work settling myself, now all I wish to do is sit and look at my garden without the work, but there are no shortcuts in life.  Even when you say, “I’ve done enough in my life.”

 

“I want that look,” I said wistfully to myself, “without all the work.” My friends have big gardens when I visit I am able to enjoy without the work. The last few years have been a great deal of work, getting my life on track.

I have done a great deal of work this year, discovering the ability to enjoy shortcuts, when it is practical. In 2016 I was given the okay to stop seeing my psychologist, but I discovered earlier this year 2017 it was too soon to stop. I had a PTSD attack of the worst kind. I felt dead on the inside and was vomiting. I wanted the greatness of life without finishing the work I started; there were risks involved by taking my journey another step further. I was pleasing God and giving him the rewards for my healing, but I soon discovered I had to take the next step.  The next step was the power of “Imagery” in psychology, in my experience it has been a powerful tool in healing. It has done wonders for me

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-imagery/

We desire to please God, but not when it inconveniences us.

In my walk with God I have come to learn there is no shortcuts, once I turned my life over to God, it was all or nothing. God pulled me up out of the gutter and saved my life. There is no turning my back on God now. My life has changed radically.

A friend once told me, “God will repay what was stolen from you”, I cannot remember the exact words. By turning my faith to Jesus, the first day I walked into a church not so long ago. To be honest, I could not remember when I was last in a church, now-a-days it is every weekend. But it all has been so worth it. God has not given up on me; I live a joyful life, a peaceful life now, walking with God each day

It has not been easy turning my life to God, but it is so worth it.

Psalm 130:4 But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can …

But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. …

But you offer forgiveness, that we might learn to fear you. …

Luke 1:77 to give his people the knowledge of salvation through …

to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins …

Daniel 5:17 Then Daniel answered the king, “You may keep your …

Then Daniel answered the king, “You may keep your gifts for yourself and

give your rewards to someone else. Nevertheless, I will …

 

Daniel 2:6 But if you tell me the dream and explain it, you will …

But if you tell me the dream and explain it, you will receive from me gifts

and rewards and great honor. So tell me the dream and …

 

1 Samuel 26:23 The LORD rewards everyone for their righteousness …

The LORD rewards everyone for their righteousness and faithfulness. The … The

LORD rewards each man for his integrity and loyalty. Even …

 

Isaiah 1:23 Your rulers are rebels, partners with thieves; they …

… Your rulers are rebels And companions of thieves; Everyone loves a bribe

And chases after rewards. They do not defend the orphan …

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

Recently

I think, I had been riding a wave of life renewed. You may have read before some of what I have written but, it was what I had to do to get me through the last month. Without sitting at my computer, prayer and more prayer, I would not be where I am today with a clear head.

Many things happened during 2016 as I began a journey back into a world unknown.

Let me take a journey back for a second or two, to where I don’t go  much anymore. I don’t need too. I am not that person anymore. When I first left my marriage, and walked into my cousin’s house during the early stages of my divorce, shock had set it in. I thought my marriage was for life I had a house family. Walking into my cousin’s home because, I could not get a roof over my head for me and my two dogs. There was a feeling of emptiness all I had was the clothes on my back and two dogs.

Domestic violence comes in many forms and does your head in, living it for a long, long, time you have many scars; you deal with them as I had done with mine. There are many people out there that have lived as I have. Some that lived it a great deal longer than I. There are some special people I know that have helped me turn my life around, especially God. Becoming a new Christian, it was not allowed during my marriage and now sometimes I have questions raised by some. I am not changing for anyone; God has got to where I am today.

Recently those scars opened up and I have had to deal with them, there have been times during the past couple of weeks where, I could barely raise myself out of my bed. I pushed myself, because I don’t give in easy. I love walking, exploring as I walk. That even got put on the back burner, for a while. Walking where I live is heaven, the air is so pure and people chat with you even if you are walking on your own. I was so happy when my legs started to carry me on a journey when I started walking again. It has been a journey to today.

I bought myself a new car, during 2016, my dream car a car I never thought I would ever own. I was so happy to give Tibby my dog rides in it; she was able to enjoy it for a little while. I was so nervous buying it, but Wow, it has taken me on a journey in the first few months I have had it. Unfortunately Tibby passed away just before Christmas.

One of the biggest shocks to my nervous system last year was coming off long term pain medication. Something I never wish to go through again, pain medication also ruined my teeth. No body I know looked down on me for the condition of my teeth; they knew what I had been going through. I was ashamed as I always had looked after my teeth.

During the time leading up to Christmas, I started feeling empty. I felt my heart hardening, it was Christmas. Christmas is always a hard time for a great deal of people around the world. Today when you try and feel like Christmas, something happens to change the joy of Christmas into sadness. It does me but somehow you get through. I think back to when I was growing up, Christmas in South Australia started happening when the lights turned on by the River Torrens. Then everyone started getting excited; today it seems as though people expect Christmas when Easter is over.

New Year comes and goes, and here we again venture through another year. We all wonder where it is going to lead us. For me the start has been rough, but I will get through with God walking beside me. In a few short weeks there has been a great deal happening for one person. Blowing my whole world out of proportion, suddenly my peace I created was disrupted. Building a pergola, that was a pure joy, but suddenly I was not coping. I felt as though I hit a brick wall and I knew that was not good. My PTSD had returned, doing too much and dealing with some difficult people in my personal life had forced me to hit that wall. Somebody recently affected me and sent my body into shock.  A big cruncher for me which will send my PTSD into action is loud noises, I have to escape or it will send me into a corner. I recently had to see the Boss of the complex where I live to explain a few personal details of my life to him; he did not know the reasons behind my move to this valley. He was shocked when I told him. Yesterday as I finished up with my pergola and the privacy surround was completed. I started thinking more about God even though, I pray and praise God for my life each day. I feel blessed, that I lead the life I do, I might live on my own, but I am not on my own, God is with me. I have good people surrounding me. Plus a good support group of people, something I have never know before in my life.

There has been a purpose for the return of my PTSD, I realise now; God was showing me, I need a little more strength to carry on in my life. Yesterday when I was with some friends doing a bible study, I felt down, I felt as though what am I doing. I battled through. I was having trouble getting my head around the study, sometimes my mind just felt blank. Yet when I came home, I paced the floor gathering my thoughts. Then around 3pm, something clicked inside me and the past couple of weeks were over. God is giving me strength. A strength I have never know before.

Suddenly finding a voice and standing up for myself it has been a show of strength. I also have to learn how to control it in a polite way. Being obnoxious is not me, or even rude. I had enough of people being like that in the early stages of my life, all I desire is peace and a head that is not full of fog from people getting in my head.

Now I do feel renewed in the mind and soul.

I have a few posts to put up, it is where my head has been shaking myself out of depression. PTSD. It is where I truly don’t wish to go anymore but it is going to happen again sometime, but I hope not as painful as this time.

(c)bjsscribbles