A letter to myself

Taking time out from your life, working out where your life is going, what you’re achieving in life. I’ve had to do this recently, realizing where I am at and where I am headed.

It was a silent time, taking time out. The last few years had been so busy; I had not spent time on me.

Spending time on me, shedding of the past, had lifted a great deal of weight of my shoulders, treading on new ground had transformed me. It didn’t happen in a moment, or a split second, accepting different life circumstances has given me a new life.

It’s something we need to do; taking time out, enabling me to keep moving forward in my life.

I remember, I had a great deal of dreams in my life, goals, things I desired to achieve, and they failed. I could not formulated them, get down to the nuts and bolts of them, I couldn’t bring them into reality. The big dreams were dreams, but they never were accomplished, today I reflect on them and know why they were never accomplished. One big word for and that is “Life”, it is only a small word but it has a great deal of meaning. Today I am accomplishing a few of my dreams. Sorting out the untidy bits of my life has been a challenge.

I am excited about life, but I bought myself down to ground level, trying to understand what I have achieved, my efforts I put into each and every day. I know I still have mountains to climb.

At the moment, focusing on what is here and now is difficult, dreams are wonderful, but you have to focus on what is here and now. Focusing on today, I remind myself, will help in creating the end result.

It’s hard to do that, I get so excited now about life. My phycologist gave me a hug and told me, “Have a great life.”

Part of me, says there is a turmoil going on inside me, exploring a new found freedom in life. Can we ever get in our own way of life? I think we can on so many levels.

I know I have been, growing more each day, developing as an individual, understanding all that is a challenge. Discovering finally I am becoming a person that I was meant to be all those years ago. I have been trying to raise my standards, to keep moving forward. My life kept me out of practice for so many years.

By focusing on one thing at a time, will ease the pressure of new life.

I guess, this is a lesson I have to learn, I know there will be difficulties levelling my life. I am faced with new challenges and situations. I know it will lead me, somewhere else; I will grow further even better than before. Taking the steps I have taken in my life, I will need to discipline myself to remain focused.

The way I was before, just won’t cut it anymore, I have to grow, evolve. There is an idea I have on the table at the moment. By completing it, I know I will grow further.

 

Constantly improving my life will lead me to new heights.

This is going to take my energy, to get up this new mountain; I love to walk to climb mountains. I know I can achieve this, my heart and mind is focused on my next journey.

Each new morning is a new step, chipping away and I will achieve.

I am committed to every day.

When we untie the chains of the past we can achieve. With the amazing Grace of God.

 

©bjsscribbles

Starting all over again

Getting to know the new me is a challenge, it has been a long time, since I laid eyes on my inner being. I thought and so many people did think I would never make it. The new place I am feeling in my heart is what God has placed there. My prayers Go out to God in thanks and praise for what He has done in my life.

 

To start all over again
For so long I was afraid
Don’t be afraid
You can do it

Yes I’ve started all over again
I keep trying, again, each day
My path has the heart of God
Keep trying, know your heart,
Know what you are working towards
Don’t give up
Most people do.
.
You will hit roadblocks
Challenges, Obstacles
Difficulties

Know your on the right path
Challenges are there to make us
Realise what we truly want
They are there to build us into
Someone who can achieve.
We are here to grow and learn
Keep striving, don’t give up

You are here to grow and to learn.
With God on our side we can achieve
All our desires

(c)bjsscribbles

 

Go back to the source

pexels-photo

 

 

There is a river rising
It’s rising fast, with
God’s thought

Yet no-one has measured
Their full ability, full force
The soul of man empties
Go back, Go back, turn to the source

Find the beginning, forget the borders,
Ignore the obstacles on the way to the beginning
Remember the way, one thought, through night and day
If he keeps his thoughts, man may know his strength
A limitless strength, because he walks with God

That mighty stream is rising fast
God’s thought shall bear down
Hopes, efforts, and purpose
To anchor our hopes, faith, strength success
Find the beginning of life with God.

(c)bjsscribbles

Songs of our lives

Songs of our life are the tunes of God
God writes the words, the patterns
We set the tune, to music each day
Songs of sadness, sweetness, or glad
We choose the time, fashion, each situation

We write the tune, whatever song of life
Rhyme or reason, sadness, we can turn into joy
We can turn Joy into Joyfulness

Each life has a song, that is free and strong
Music he writes is only a small part
Sadness, the pain in life
The singer becomes the story teller

The singer talks to God, in his voice
A hymn resinate’s across the sky
He knows not how the words sound
Words lonely and sad, because
The tune is dreary

Music ringing across the sky
Under the tune of sadness
The song of another
Through words, turns pain into gladness

Triumphant words, now ring out
Giving the world, more joy
Setting ourselves alive, in the world of God
So whether our songs are sad or not
In which the heart is now set alive
We can live and survive

(c)bjsscribbles

Feel the warmth of God

Walk in the sunlight, talk to the sunlight
Soft as the day goes by sunshine, mover of a day
Feel the warmth of God

A tune calls out, but I never saw a face
Times are heard but not replaced
I venture to talk to the sun, not loosing my place
Cast out in the sun by the light of day
Lost in the lights ray
I search for the sounds, as echoes play in the sun

What happens to the tunes we once knew so well
Caught within the world of sun rays, created by God
I’ve waited all my life to feel the tunes of freedom
Moment by moment, tunes echoed in the sun

The future unknown, splendour has begun in the sun
The light and the sun meld as one, by God
There is a moment in time when my world reaches the skies
Magic turns my eyes to the skies

What happened to a world we once knew
Have we forgotten what we once knew
Time we have waited all our lives
Moment by moment

Sun showers come and go season by season
Flowers bloom each season with reason
I feel the warmth of God, today

(c)bjsscribbles

With God’s world

Thoughts, carry on the breath of wings
I hold my thoughts close
Skillfulness deep within
We send our thoughts forth
To fill the world

Our innermost thoughts
Messages the remotest spot
Leaving a message of blessing
Or messages of woes
Leaving footsteps behind as it flows

I remember, its all in Gods timing
My body is still, as I sit thinking my thoughts
All the thoughts I have not known
Or dare to share, and yet thoughts when alone

Today my thoughts have life
They fly, on the wind, with the breath of God
Impressing me, as the leave
A breath flows into my home
Following me, with messages

At the time when we forget
There are times when we outgrow our thoughts
A thought that vanishes, sometimes
Will make it back to your mind
Finding it home as a companion
Nesting in your mind

Share your secret thoughts
A vital part of life
Shaping your world
Molding life
Within Gods world

(c)bjsscribbles

Thank you Lord for the help You have given me

 

Life experiences sometimes are a challenging for us all to achieve the mountain heights and leave anxiety and depression behind. Once this next section of my life is complete, the work I am doing at the moment with God’s help, I should not be walking in the valley of darkness any more. God has taught me many things along my journey so far, proving I am never alone, though I have felt the depths of loneliness when I have been ill. I believe there were so many feeling pent up inside me, He wanted me to face the truth, learning there are many parts to the power of God’s will, I may not have ever come to know otherwise

My  depression is over, all I can do is stay positive, my friend anxiety creeps in as it did earlier this year with quite a bang, it was totally out of left field, I was reeling so hard, my PTSD reared its ugly head. When fear controls your memories and flashbacks, reaches into my soul again after so long being away, you don’t sleep, toss and turn. I wanted it all to go away; it has left my body for now.

There are many of us out there that struggle; I know I am one of millions. Yet when I turned to God out of desperation, repented, and turned to God for the first time in my life. Learning I am on a journey now in my life with God following alongside. We all know the poem “Footsteps in the sand”. We are reminded we are not alone, learning to trust again for the first time in my life has bought me closer to God and I know He loves me and you that are there alongside me. There are times still when I don’t know what is happening to me, lately I have had a major COPD attack, struggling to get on top, many times in  and out of desperation I have prayed. “Lord, Help me I need my breath” In Jesus name Amen

My prayers are slowly getting better over time, learning how to pray, by just talking to God has been the most challenging experience. People have told me my prayer are from the heart. Also someone told me it is just like talking to a friend, because of my life before I never knew much about friends. Today, I either turn to Isaiah, Psalms, there is a special nearness here that I achieve when I need that special closeness. When I am walking around the hills, I feel God’s breath, the Holy Spirit, walking with me. God has become my strength, the envelope of my Faith. When I read this section of Isaiah, I feel I am with God and it gives me strength

Isaiah

53

Who has believed our message

and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,

and like a root out of dry ground.

He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,

nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

3 He was despised and rejected by mankind,

a man of suffering, and familiar with pain.

Like one from whom people hide their faces

he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.

4 Surely he took up our pain

and bore our suffering,

yet we considered him punished by God,

stricken by him, and afflicted.

5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,

he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was on him,

and by his wounds we are healed.

6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,

each of us has turned to our own way;

and the Lord has laid on him

the iniquity of us all.

7 He was oppressed and afflicted,

yet he did not open his mouth;

he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,

and as a sheep before its shearers is silent,

so he did not open his mouth.

8 By oppression[a] and judgment he was taken away.

Yet who of his generation protested?

For he was cut off from the land of the living;

for the transgression of my people he was punished.[b]

9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,

and with the rich in his death,

though he had done no violence,

nor was any deceit in his mouth.

10 Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,

and though the Lord makes[c] his life an offering for sin,

he will see his offspring and prolong his days,

and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand.

11 After he has suffered,

he will see the light of life[d] and be satisfied[e];

by his knowledge[f] my righteous servant will justify many,

and he will bear their iniquities.

12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,[g]

and he will divide the spoils with the strong,[h]

because he poured out his life unto death,

and was numbered with the transgressors.

For he bore the sin of many,

and made intercession for the transgressors.

In Jesus name Amen.

I struggled a great deal in my life, with doing the right thing all the time. Sometimes I wished it was not bred in my DNA. It would lead to confusion, Anxiety, I would wonder what people thought of me and say about me, if I did the opposite. I could not live like that anymore I had to put myself first in my life, but alongside God. The Lord has become my salvation and when I stumble, it may take days or weeks but I pick myself up.

A friend once showed me these verses which taught me a great deal.

Isaiah 43: 5-7

Do not be afraid, for I am with you;

I will bring your children from the east

and gather you from the west.

6 I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’

and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’

Bring my sons from afar

and my daughters from the ends of the earth—

7 everyone who is called by my name,

whom I created for my glory,

whom I formed and made.”

In Jesus name Amen

I feel so encouraged when I see and hear God’s scripture, I feel as though God hears my prayers, lifting my worries from my shoulders. Sometime I am so overwhelmed by what goes on about me it is easy to fall away from God’s world, but I know better now. The only way now is with God.

!st Thess 5:16-18

16 Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

This is another of the scripture I first learned, and it has become an important part of my life now. I have found it possible to pray continually and rejoice in God’s word, especially when things are not going well. Many times I wished I knew God before in my life, I did not know how to reach out, now I do. Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to me and I will answer you, I will show you the thing you do not know.” Mathew 7:7 “Ask and you shall receive, seek and you will find…….A dear friend taught me that scripture.

There are many other scriptures that I have come to know, please add your favourite if you feel led to in the comments.

There are many truths in the Bible, the most important thing to know is the peace you feel when you are with God in prayer. When you are anxious take it to God, praise God for helping and give thanks. Sometime I feel a peace about me I don’t understand, like Friday when I came home from an appointment, I felt sure I would have been pacing the floor with anxiety, but I wasn’t, I was at peace with what I was doing. I know God has been with me. As I walk through the last of the demons in my life and deal with them finally.

Search your heart when you spend time with God, but first make sure your heart is empty. You maybe are restricting yourself from being near to God if you don’t. Seek and You will find him.

In Jesus name Amen