Silence in the unknowns

My Footsteps search new places
Places I’ve never been before
The shifting sands that speak
Footsteps in desert sands
Speak to my soul
Introduced unknowns
One free whisper
Brings comfort in solitude
Silence in the unknowns
I hear them welcoming me
Footstep calling me for such a long time
Quiet me down, seek and discover
Knock and a door will open
Ask and receive new lands
They breathe the air of realisations
That littered my life,
Making changes, clarity
I’ve connected the dots lately
Where only a short time ago I was lost
I still have unanswered questions

Divided by roads not yet taken
Those roads are becoming closer
As I walk through the next coming days
Those questions, I will leave, for now
While I move into the next phase of my life
No more pushing and pulling at my heart
I know, answers will arrive
From the heights of the mountain forests
There is no time limit
Don’t rush, let it be

I don’t feel alone anymore
I feel more connected
I feel the footsteps of God
Across the desert sands to the mountains
There is love that has always been there
Love that is growing
I found something deeper
That I avoided for a life time

 

It was always meant to happen
I lived in denial for so long
Finally answering the call of God
You can always try and avoid the call of God
But the truth is always there
Shinning the beacon light of God
Despite your attempts to stay hidden
Step into the light

You may not know where you are for a time
I know I didn’t know where I was
The feeling of being lost arrives at moments
You’re beyond where you once were
You’ve moved past the past, you’re experiencing new things
You’re growing, comes all of the greatness of life and adventures

To heal and regenerate body, mind, and soul
I had no idea of what to expect, my emotions,
My thoughts, my faith has grown
My guidance from God
For me that’s enough
Faith, trust, and the grace of God
.
I know I can do this, the wind will blow
Calling me to something great
Things will change the course of my life
One step at a time
Divided by roads not yet taken
Those roads are becoming closer
(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

To feel life as I do now

A beautiful time of day
Dusk, on a summer’s eve
Under the Australian sun
I never want to die
I want to live forever

To feel life as I do now

Will it be ever possible,
The trees, with branches covered in leaves
Covered in blossom, picked by faith
OH! they barely feel us walking beneath
The corners, the footpaths, we turn and walk
Maybe the life journey we take
Continue to hold us all on earth
There are days I walked through life
As though I was in limbo
Forgetting to look around.
Without turning my head
A beautiful time of day, Dusk
On a summers eve, I want to live forever
Where the vine grows over the fence
Dangling the fruit of God
The joys of a childhood once remembered here
Imagining our deep root on earth
(c)bjsscribbles

Standing up to all the demons in my life

There have been times over the years, where I wanted to throw in the towel, give in and quit. But I have held on progressing further each day.

It has taken all my strength to hold standing up to all the demons in my life. I’ve taken a complete new road, walking with God. I’m staying away from the wolves, keeping away from the prey. The wolves are just around the corner, waiting for me to fail, attacking at the greatest moment of weakness.

 

I keep reminding myself, stay strong, hold firm it’s my life now. The odds were well and truly stacked up against me when I first walked away from life, there was no-one who believed in me or what I was doing. I dug into my faith started searching for a new way of life. I knew there had to be another way to live, I couldn’t go back. I began to live the way of the gospel my belief grew an I reminded myself why I was doing it. No-one could take my journey it was my choice.

Many showed their opinions feeding doubt into my mind and soul, despite their best intentions. It was never about me or what I was doing, it was always about them. It was their fear speaking not mine. It was the sense of possibility showing about my choices.

I have travelled a path others in my life couldn’t achieve, silencing the outside voices in my life. I admit there is a silence in my heart, it is a fear, I tell myself, “Don’t soften, endure” Hold on tight, you are there for the long ride.

I have been challenged in many ways lately, as I continue to believe, my hearts desire to know more about the gospel, my thirst for adventure, to spread my wings further. I’ve been looking back over the years, since I left my home, my increased faith, it has been unconventional but my life now is true and good.

 

Though challenges, have been many, especially those of the devil, yet I know deep down, somewhere inside, my heart has shone, that has been the most poignant part of my journey. I could have quite a long time ago ended this journey abandoned, time and time again. Giving to wolves their biggest opportunity ever to consume my life again

I could of conducted my life differently, that would’ve set me down many other paths. For some reason I chose the way of the gospel, no-matter what arrives now, I’ve been able to follow my faith, walking with God. Maintaining my faith is important to me now.

There are times when I feel as though I am walking through my life in a blur, maybe it’s the demons trying to attack. Staying in touch with God, putting on the Helmet of Salvation. I feel my heart is guided by my sense of faith.

Faith is no accident, there is something truly there for me, faith that I can continue. My life is now worth something, ablaze with all the aspects of life. Without the wolves preying at my mind.

Read Ephesians 6:10-20

 

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

Whispers

 

Whispers
Quiet down. The silence in your heart
The silence in your mind hears a whisper in your heart
A spec of sand, carried in the wind like the depths of your soul
Guiding you diverting you, experience that rattles your mind
All things that happen in life, by a small infinite amount
This life we lead is so limited to what could be or could’ve been
Sit quietly, listen, feel at one with life and what you know
Connect with what you already know, feel at one with the moment
God is there, grounding you deep within the earth, when you are seeking answers

When you sit, you’ll find the answer are not beyond you, when you are truly with God

As I sit here clearing my mind, my answers come, letting go, making space for the new
As I’ve settled more and more, it’s about my feelings deep down, taking away what was keeping me from living
I’m making my mind work for me now
Not against me, growing with my emotions
Not letting them work against me
I needed silence in my life
Creating my stories, my health, my mind
Feeling at one with God, was in the quiet
Just me guiding my life, letting my heart guide me where I need to go
That unexpected feeling you feel when you take up the reigns of your life
I spent a great deal of time on my own, guiding myself towards this moment
All that time didn’t take me directly to where I needed to be

My soul has kept me in the vicinity of where I needed to be
Helping me turn into myself finally, parts of me resisted, inwardly crying out

There is still fear, little bits of fear, but new energy has evolved
As I look over my life, there is the person today, whom may have done things differently
Oh! wisdom takes hold of my thoughts, “How much energy it has taken from me to get where I am”
I know I couldn’t haave done things differently
I’ve had to walk the path I’ve taken
I think of everything I’ve done, everything I’ve gone through
I know I’ve have to keep walking forward
Creating a new life, being creative
Walking with God
(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

Ride on the breath Of the Holy Spirit

Ride on the breath
Of the Holy Spirit
Quietly, focus

.From the pockets of
Of your depths
Connect, understand
Outside of you there is nothing
It is deep within you
Outside of you there is nothing to seek
You are already for the Holy Spirit
Your path with the Holy Spirit was there from the moment you were concieved
Begin to understand
It’s here, it always been there waiting
Discovereing you were always plugged into the Holy Spirit

You thought you were on your own for such a long time
Running in circles, you could never find answers
No more circles, just the Holy Spirit
You are everything, the Holy Spirit is in you
New life is breathing inside me
I sit now under the stars
Believing
Talking with God
Proclaiming to myself there is life
I conducted a battle within myself for so many years

Part of me did not want to let go
The deeper side knew, I had to let go
Finding the Holy Spirit in life gave me life
Turning myself into something more
To get down on my knees and give my life to God
To let go of fear
And settle
Oh! what a transitions, and many of them
No more standing on the edge of life
The fringes only bring heartache
There was only marching through and seeking the Holy Spirit
It’s always been there for us all
I lay in silence
I get up now each day walking out of the old ways
I walk ahead
There is a story to my life
One that served me
Now I am growing finding me

It is a grand feeling

(c)bjsscribbles

There are times when I can’t believe

There are times when I can’t believe
I’m sitting where I am
Today with a big smile on my face
I sit with a big heart writing new words
To my life, where the come, I do not know
There’s no doubt God’s been good to me

 

Oh the sun shinning down on the valley
I’m where I want to be, right now,
I’ve never said right now, before
I’ve never felt so loved, I feel the peace
There’s no doubt God’s been good to me

God placed me here in this valley
On the edge of heaven
In the heart of a city
Where my dreams have come alive
Everything I have, and everything I see
Oh! I know God have been good to me

 

The road has been long
Sometimes I’ve lost my way
The darkened nights that continue
Into day, I lean then heavily on my new found faith
The devil had my soul chained
Lord your love has set me free
God has been good to me

(c)bjsscribbles

I see

In the closing hours of the night my brain wakes up continually, Shh, it’s whirring away, Changes in my brain. It turns up the heat on my life, forever waking up in the early hours of the morning. I would so love to sleep through the night. Life is so different now with God in your life, I am now armed with new depths of thinking, I see words now coming from me I never used before in my life. I’m not sure how or even quite sure I understand what has happened to me. But what I can tell you, that I know my life is coming from quietly different place that I have never been in before.

The freshness of a new life, the changes in my character, unrestricted life, has given birth to something I never expected to feel in my life. Changes can be dangerous in life, but what has made its way into my life, these early mornings I wake, is real and honest, and packed with simplicity, countless different emotions all at the same time. These things do happen in life, I would’ve never believed it before, but with God in your life anything is possible and all things can be made new again.

As I continue to dive into life now with Brandy, my new dog in my life. She was a pure gift from God we bonded so much in 3 short weeks. There is now more time to play, than I had before with Tibby and Charlie.

Today life is exciting the changes I’ve made, new people I am meeting all the time, new adventures, sometimes boldness. Life is within my grasp, sometimes a little out of reach. This life is now part of me, I have never felt this good about life.

The way life was dictated to me, the rules I followed, although meekly, have somehow now gone out the window. I’m not lost anymore; I’m coming to know me as me.

I never thought that I could feel like this addicted to life, life is exciting when we give God a chance in life, it’s strange at first. Fulfilling.

It’s strange to feel satisfied with life, I know I will have my ups and downs still, but I’m statisfied how I am growing as a person. I’ve landed myself on my feet now. I read back over the words I’ve written about my life, my words have grown along with me. It might sound silly but it is true.

I have actually worked out why my writing to some degree has come to a standstill at times, because I’m now at peace with my soul. Excited about living.

 

Change now lives within

My soul lives within the wind
Moments all but a second
These moments forever change us
So deeply the impact, our hearts awoken,
I Haven’t felt the flames of change, in such force
These moments of time
We will never forget
Nor turn away from them
Moments that changed me
Changed our lives
Fear stops me from turning back
Life is moving forward, taking new steps each day
Old ways are now turning to dust, as I walk through life
New stories are born each day
As my soul now lives within the winds of change
Each day now is a new adventure, with a decision
To keep change alive with my soul
A gift from God that lives and changes within you
Faith in God, strength in God’s merciful faith
I’ve struggled. I learned to grasp at faith never letting go
Deep inside me, I knew, I believed, there was a God
My world would change, I feel different now,
Different than anything else
My soul now lives within me
I feel the wind pass me by now
Change now lives within your soul

(c)bjsscribbles

We never walk alone

Storm clouds roll through the night
lightening shatters the sky
the loud cry of the wind rips through me
The ocean rises, rolling high
My heart fills with terror
Despair I cannot leave
My thirst for peace gathers
In the quiet of the storm
Prayer fill my heart

When unable to think
My faith sometimes slips
Into the old ways
Friends that leave, betray
My heart longs, for those
Who left
There are times when night rolls through the day
Darkness has been endless
I wonder about the light of day
Longing again to see the light
When I see the light
Prayer has filled my heart

Feel, the gentle winds of the heavens
Sometimes I look to the heavens
Trying to feel the answers
I know God is walking with me
God lives in us all
He holds my hand as I walk
Just to know God is there
Watching over me
Night and day, he listens
When prayer fills my heart
Through all crisis pray
God leaves a puzzled heart
Un puzzled

(c)bjsscribbles

There is a stillness in the air.

I found my deep sense of truth when I settled in a sleepy valley; I walked the ridges, hills, which bring a swift chill on a spring morning as you walk. Spending time here on my own, I held onto so many questions, I’ve needed answers for so many years. Interestingly while I know it would be beneficial to have answers, I didn’t know how hard it would be to reflect on the answers.

There is something about wandering, the trails of a sleepy valley, it brings out the joy, the spirit of God flows in my heart when I walk. There is a stillness that makes me delve into a deeper level of conversation with God. There is nothing between me and God to disturb our conversation, no outside influences. Just me, the fresh air how great the feeling.

Life becomes so much clearer as I walk; constant chatter from white noise disappears. It’s just me being me; no mask is needed as I walk. It just you or me walking, it can be challenging. During good and bad days, when I’m down walking is hard.

A liberating as walking is, there is always work to do. I see a path as I walk, I wonder where it will lead or if I was meant to travel this path. So many things I let go of as I walk. Disappointments, achievements, yet I create my life. Sometimes opportunities I see for a quick moment, God’s vision for me.

Now as each day rolls into one sometimes, I realise it’s the way life has always been. There’s no more to add or anything else to take away, or to place in a box closing the lid and forgetting that part of life happened. As hard as it is to let go of annoying habits, that have haunted me for many years. Today there are still possibilities. Now life is revealed, and everything has a clear intention.

Many things will change for me over the next few months and into the New Year. I have discovered a new world with God. I know I’m not done yet, there is so much more life ahead of me, I’ve had a taste of life and new experiences

Many things are going to change over this year. Last year with all of my traveling represented a opportunity for discovering the world. I know I’m not done yet but I’ve had a great taste of what that experience is like. My world has changed.

(c)bjsscribbles