God is always with his people

My fravourite saying these days are “let go” put it in the box at the back of the wardrobe and forget it is there. Life journey’s stuff you don’t wish to remember, (I have a great deal of these) How often do we journey into this box, sometimes I do quite often. I am acknowledging today that in the near distant future, I will be closing this box for a long time. I received a letter saying my pre:operation appointment has been bought forward 3months, most people know this now after I posted this. My journey now shows me my life is moving forward, once my operation is over and I am on the recovery road to a new woman, I need to boldly look to the future take that box out of the wardrobe and put it in the rubbish bin
When I open the wardrobe at time and think memories come back and make me sad and oppressed again. Reminders of past hurts and things people have done in letting me down. Learning how to leave anger and bitterness behind is more valuable than getting paid back for past Hurst. I listen to the pastor last weekend and thought a great deal about my life, the history of my life that kept coming back and haunting me, I had felt as though I had been owed something for so many years. In my heart I felt as though my life had been taken away from me.
I am still learning where everything is in the Bible but I do find quality learning from a living history from the Bible about a life that was lived so we could live. I remember words coming from a wise man. It takes a bigger person to walk away from an argument than to stay and argue or repay with evil when evil is done to you. This person said to me, it is better to live in peace. But we can talk passively and get our point across without anger or evil.
I have prayed forgiveness for many of those that hurt me over the years, sometime I continually do it. I struggle when I think of those in my life that have hurt me over the years, forgiveness has been so important in my recovery, you have to forgive to move on in life and be able to put that memory box in the trash bin. Romans, has been an important chapter for the oldest book in the world for me.
For years, anger and bitterness has weighed me down for decades now I have to take that bold step. The burden and frowns weighed my image as a person for so many years. The times I hid myself crying, the times I curled myself in a corner weighed down with burdens
I am studying in a group about Ephesians, as I have studied through Ephesians again trying to understand I find so much about life. It talk so much about getting rid all bitterness, rage and anger, talking about being compassionate, with one another. Forgiving so much more, as God has forgiven us. It took me a while to come to the understanding of it all. The thought of people, carrying them around in a box for the rest of my life, I cannot do it. I am getting to the stage in my life with my operation, pending on the horizon; I cannot let the rest of my life be robbed by anger or bitterness.
:I know now I have to throw everything away so I can recover from my operation quickly and get on with life. Today that life has to be thrown away so I can move on.
Reaching my choices today as I look at what I have written and thought about and thinking about God and how God has help me, I do fill lighter.
To think about the times you have been angry in your life and chosen to forgive, for the first time in my life I now know what freedom feels like. I kept a running list of all the people who have hurt me. You know when it is time to close that list down and move on. The more anger you hold onto for years the heavier your heart is towards anyone who tries to get close. I was so incapable of letting anyone get close to me, I have slowly opened door and let love come into my life.
That box in the back of my wardrobe is now in the trash and I am reminding myself life has moved on. Life is so much better; I carried the weight of lifetime on my shoulders for far too long. You are the only one who can decide to forget, forgive and make room in your life for the rest of your life. Life can be so much more rewarding to share and live with a lighter heart.
I quite often praise God for the guidance and help he has given me, I pray constantly and out loud. Quite often while I am walking, (when I used to walk) I ask God for help. He must have heard me because my prayers are slowly being answered in God’s time and I am grateful for his timing. With God’s timing I am growing as a person and growing in God’s grace.
God has led me to show kindness and patience, God has led me away from my past sins. When I feel hurt I don’t feel loving towards other but I then open my mind and feel as though I can forgive. Ask God to help you move on and forgive, put your painful memories behind you and heal.
I know God led me to thinking today about my life and my future, today I read Isaiah43:1-13 with a friend, reading it out loud I still get a little apprehensive about my reading, an aspect of my past I still carry with me. I prefer reading quietly nobody hears me and it sounds better. I am reading it through again now quietly, this piece a friend showed me and I am still led to it because it is a beautiful piece that shows how God is with you always, through thick and thin giving you life.
God Is Always With His People
Isaiah 43 1-13. Since learning this piece I have been saying it over and over in my mind reminding myself what god can do for you.

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1 Jacob, the Lord created you. Israel, he made you, and now he says, “Don’t be afraid. I saved you. I named you. You are mine. 2 When you have troubles, I am with you. When you cross rivers, you will not be hurt. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not hurt you. 3 That’s because I, the Lord, am your God. I, the Holy One of Israel, am your Savior. I gave Egypt to pay for you. I gave Ethiopia and Seba to make you mine. 4 You are precious to me, and I have given you a special place of honor. I love you. That’s why I am willing to trade others, to give up whole nations, to save your life.

5 “So don’t be afraid, because I am with you. I will gather your children and bring them to you. I will gather them from the east and from the west. 6 I will tell the north: Give my people to me. I will tell the south: Don’t keep my people in prison. Bring my sons and daughters to me from the faraway places. 7 Bring to me all the people who are mine—the people who have my name. I made them for myself. I made them, and they are mine.

8 “Bring out the people who have eyes but are blind. Bring out the people who have ears but are deaf.[a] 9 All people and all nations should also be gathered together. Which of their gods said this would happen? Which of their gods would tell what happened in the beginning? They should bring their witnesses. The witnesses should speak the truth. This will show they are right.”

10 The Lord says, “You people are my witnesses and the servant I chose. I chose you so that you would help people believe me. I chose you so that you would understand that ‘I Am He’—I am the true God. There was no God before me, and there will be no God after me. 11 I myself am the Lord, and there is no other Savior. 12 I am the one who spoke to you, saved you, and told you those things. It was not some stranger who was with you. You are my witnesses, and I am God.” (This is what the Lord himself said.) 13 “I have always been God. When I do something, no one can change what I have done. And no one can save people from my power.”

(c)bjsscribbles

The new born

I sit thinking of a time
In their short time
I would softly touch your face
Your skin was so pure
To touch your face felt like
Clouds, so soft and pure
I would hold you in my arms
Touch your face
Tracing a journey
Only to discover a gentle smile
To lightly touch your eyelids
With my fingertips made me smile
Your beauty yet to be explored

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Your soul is developed, yet it is to early to be explored
What dwells within your soul
I cannot invade
Or invade your space
Yet I will be here when you need
When you grow, and explore
When you need just call
Love Mum

Love hides, till it is summoned

Love hides, till it is summoned
Just waiting out of sight

Love hides, in most un-nerving places
Like a gentle giant, waiting to be called

Love hides, in a tear,
That rolls down a cheek

Love hides, in every corner
Melting a powerful heart
Till it surrenders

Love,hides, in dark corners
Till it shines a light, on a soft English rose

Love hides, along with all it’s glory
Oh! how they will tell it’s story
The softness and the allurement

Of it’s story, waiting for you to see
Love hides, till it is summoned
Just waiting out of sight

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Something that is remembered

I’ve written this form experience of how trauma can affect your life, I know it has affect mine in a big way over the years. Some things you may want to remember, but you can not, because trauma has got in the and engulfed your life.

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Something that is remembered
Search as you will, the memory was lost
Sometimes they can be a secret pain
Exerting much energy, exhausting
Each and every breath you need
How, why, where, or when
The who, you may want to forget
But you realise, the who is the one
You can only forgive
Be confident accept as true, or,
Be confident accept as false
Know you have told the truth
I know I have told the truth
There is a peace you need to keep
Forever long you need to keep
Memories of doubts and fears
I am convinced there is a need to be silent
I see, hear, and am silent
I bestow the proof and honour your privacy
When I am too old to speak or weak, I have forgotten
The I shall say,????
Today Once I have comprehended matters
The thunder of the truth
The lightening that clashes with the thunder
Of the truth untold
Will echo about the sky
Those that judge, will be hushed
Against the chill of the sky
Something that is remembered
Search as you will, the memory was lost
Sometimes they can be a secret pain
Exerting much energy, exhausting
Each and every breath you need
Should not be needed to remember, a memory that was once lost.

(c)bjsscribbles

I often dream of what is beyond the blue horizon

Stand upon a jetty
Strewn like confetti
Fishermen casting lines
Despite that I follow the lines of hope
As I gaze upon the ocean so blue

On the fore shore children collect their treasured sea shells
Seagull’s feed along the edge of the foreshore
Looking for the perils of the ocean
I often dream of what is beyond the blue horizon
Of the oceans so deep

The ocean has collected many of my stories
Strewn from coast to coast amongst the thunderous waves
As I stand upon a jetty I gaze upon a blue horizon
Looking for a peace that escapes me
I often dream of what is beyond the blue horizon
Of the oceans so deep

The ocean has collected many of my stories
Strewn from coast to coast amongst the thunderous waves
I often stand watching people walk along the foreshore
Wondering where the footsteps will lead
Wondering about the crushed seashells
You can sometimes hear the cries of the ocean
As it meets the shoreline, stirring up the oceans floor

A violent agitation of pounding waves
Beat the shore with a steaming persistent rage
There is a calm you seek as you stand gazing at a blue horizon
My sand allows a passage in and out
I can hear your sighs as you stand gazing at me for hours on end
I hear your thoughts, checking carefully
That I leave you in peace as you return to shore
Grace, faith, engulfs and loves a fragile porcelain soul
Sometimes so easily broken
Our friend the ocean has repaired so many hearts
With God’s help

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A childs eyes

Out of your eyes
I see tiny reflections
Creating complexions

From your eyes
To your complexion
I feel your tiny feet
So soft and pure

I touch your tiny fingers
So soft and pure
In my hand
We walk

Impressions
We create
Oceans behold
You create ripples
Of a woman to be

Footprints that grow
As the years flow
Ripples behold footprints
Through time

Reflections of time
As you grow
You don’t need my hand anymore
You are a woman

Chasing your dreams
At times you do need my hand

But

We stand on our own
We are confident
We know our way

To know our mother is there
In the back ground
Following your footprints
Helping silently

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Your wisdom Your peace

I’ve lived with doubt
I’ve doubted myself
I’ve looked at my refection
I’ve wandered through time
From place to place
Looking searching
I’ve found peace
I found peace in my heart
Your peace
I searched
And found Your wisdom

Your wisdom, Your peace
Reflects on me
I came to You for help
In times of hardship and struggles
You knew I needed to come to You

There is strength in Your love
There is strength in Your Joy
You have made me stronger

Doubt no longer
No need to look for reflections
No need to wander aimlessly
From place to place
No need to search
Peace is on my doorstep
Peace is in my heart
Your peace found
Your wisdom found
No longer in darkness
The days are brighter and happier
I look to You for peace and guidance
I am blessed

You have carried me through
Troubled waters, many times
I know as I pray each day
I know you are there to guide me through
My prayers

Doubt no longer
No need to look for reflections
No need to wander aimlessly
From place to place
No need to search
Peace is on my doorstep
Peace is in my heart
Your peace found
Your wisdom found

Thank you God

Amen

(c)bjsscribbles