I walked through the door to Freedom an a new life

A friend once asked me If I ever had dreams, this is her dog.

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Dreaming over the years came from deep within my spirit, the wonders of an untapped world, created from deep within my mind. Wandering a continent as old as the world, pondering adventure, thinking thoughts.

Dreaming my thoughts trapped within my soul, I let them loose on the world. There were cages trapped within my mind filled with stumbling blocks of Barbed wire, curling my mind. Mental blocks were keeping my mind under siege, falling many times constantly tripping caught on Barbed wire. All I needed was a chance to step through the dungeons chained within my mind, a chance to make decisions.

IMG_0051 (2), freedom is something I still have trouble explaining in my dreams. Freedom moved me to Joy, at the same time I didn’t know how to use freedom. In my hands Freedom, seemed so far in the future, longing for freedom. Once I was able to hold onto freedom, finding a way to new worlds with it. Freedom total freedom, cause me to freeze within my heart.

There was help, but I didn’t know how to ask for it. I searched big open spaces, not knowing what I wanted. Thoughts, dreams, confused my mind, I crossed a continent, sat on top of mountains, turned my eyes towards the heavens, praying for guidance. Thoughts of returning to the fold entered my mind, thoughts I thought I left behind. I have tasted freedom now, there is no going back.

I in my heart and soul, keep moving forward. My soul craved freedom for so many years. Each day is a new step for freedom. I’ve tried mind mapping, my dreams, putting them down on paper, seeing where my dreams have taken me. Some dreams I just wasn’t ready for, it was just too early.

There is more to discover, more to learn. I just have to be patient, waiting for my dreams to unfold. I wasn’t ready, prepared for the not knowing, feelings arose from deep within my mental cages, blocking me from moving forward.. I didn’t understand what was going on inside my mind, I slipped back into anxiety, depression, PTSD. Taking the wrong road creates mistakes, I understand now and have taken the right road, turning the corner into complete health.

I was led out of the darkness, saved by a continent, who I was is far different to whom I am today. I arrived at a place of opportunity. Seeds were planted in my life, I understand how important they were now. I started to see them unfold and grow into my future.

My past once haunted me, now I create a life because of my past, serving me more than anything in this world. If we search the images of our mind, see how your garden blooms, growing more and more each day.

To feel life as I do now

A beautiful time of day
Dusk, on a summer’s eve
Under the Australian sun
I never want to die
I want to live forever

To feel life as I do now

Will it be ever possible,
The trees, with branches covered in leaves
Covered in blossom, picked by faith
OH! they barely feel us walking beneath
The corners, the footpaths, we turn and walk
Maybe the life journey we take
Continue to hold us all on earth
There are days I walked through life
As though I was in limbo
Forgetting to look around.
Without turning my head
A beautiful time of day, Dusk
On a summers eve, I want to live forever
Where the vine grows over the fence
Dangling the fruit of God
The joys of a childhood once remembered here
Imagining our deep root on earth
(c)bjsscribbles

Ride on the breath Of the Holy Spirit

Ride on the breath
Of the Holy Spirit
Quietly, focus

.From the pockets of
Of your depths
Connect, understand
Outside of you there is nothing
It is deep within you
Outside of you there is nothing to seek
You are already for the Holy Spirit
Your path with the Holy Spirit was there from the moment you were concieved
Begin to understand
It’s here, it always been there waiting
Discovereing you were always plugged into the Holy Spirit

You thought you were on your own for such a long time
Running in circles, you could never find answers
No more circles, just the Holy Spirit
You are everything, the Holy Spirit is in you
New life is breathing inside me
I sit now under the stars
Believing
Talking with God
Proclaiming to myself there is life
I conducted a battle within myself for so many years

Part of me did not want to let go
The deeper side knew, I had to let go
Finding the Holy Spirit in life gave me life
Turning myself into something more
To get down on my knees and give my life to God
To let go of fear
And settle
Oh! what a transitions, and many of them
No more standing on the edge of life
The fringes only bring heartache
There was only marching through and seeking the Holy Spirit
It’s always been there for us all
I lay in silence
I get up now each day walking out of the old ways
I walk ahead
There is a story to my life
One that served me
Now I am growing finding me

It is a grand feeling

(c)bjsscribbles

We never walk alone

Storm clouds roll through the night
lightening shatters the sky
the loud cry of the wind rips through me
The ocean rises, rolling high
My heart fills with terror
Despair I cannot leave
My thirst for peace gathers
In the quiet of the storm
Prayer fill my heart

When unable to think
My faith sometimes slips
Into the old ways
Friends that leave, betray
My heart longs, for those
Who left
There are times when night rolls through the day
Darkness has been endless
I wonder about the light of day
Longing again to see the light
When I see the light
Prayer has filled my heart

Feel, the gentle winds of the heavens
Sometimes I look to the heavens
Trying to feel the answers
I know God is walking with me
God lives in us all
He holds my hand as I walk
Just to know God is there
Watching over me
Night and day, he listens
When prayer fills my heart
Through all crisis pray
God leaves a puzzled heart
Un puzzled

(c)bjsscribbles

Strength and determination

Strength and determination
As uncertain as destiny
Gathers in our mind
Lightening moments, bolt, shock, stimulate
Frivolous in flight, strength and determination
With my head held hight
Determination gives strength
From soul to soul, across my world
As a birds wings flutter
And the thoughts we utter
As forests touch the wind
Wings flutter, across my world

Dreams galore gather
Clouding my vision
At times bitter thoughts have power
To hide gnawing, corroding, my mind
Destroying the brightest light
Think love in determination
There’s hope in strength anew
Dreaded thoughts, give determination
The right to succeed
Renovating a blessed life
With the sword of faith held high

(C)bjsscribbles

Tomorrow, life is but an adventure

There have been a few challenging, situations in my life lately. I’ve been working through them with help. There are times when I cannot believe how far I have traveled, how writing helps you see the many challenges of life.

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The time in our life
All the things I’ve done, and how it’s been
I think about living, my mind, believing in my life
I know now, God was waiting for me
The sun shines each day,
I’ve been lucky, God has given me the gift of life
A second chance in life
A chance to talk of my writing, my life
God’s gift of prayer and all the things we believe
This time in my life how great it is to have memories
And dreams to share, today and tomorrow

So many days pass now, Oh! how quickly they pass
Time whispers around me, in the depth of winter

Moving quickly through Spring and Summer
The timely changes of life frighten me, but I still smile
Each day I grow a little older, maybe wiser, I hope
My life has been good to me, I feel there is more yet for me to do
With God at my side, so many things my mind has never known
Tomorrow, life is but an adventure

Finding life where I have, it’s been a good life here
God gave me a second chance at life, to hang around a little longer
Sit among the stars, watching a falling star
A chance to talk of my writing, my life
God’s gift of prayer and all the things we believe
This time in my life how great it is to have memories
And dreams to share, today and tomorrow is but an adventure
(c)bjsscribbles

 

A journey with God

When God came into my life
I knew there was a higher power
I did not know what I would feel
The feeling that has risen from dust
God knew, I was searching
He knew what he would see when he found me

God created us, he put us here on earth
To lead this life, I begun anew
Learning as I go
Sharing, giving what I can

God knew I would stumble
Oh! how I have fallen at times
He knew I would suffer
He knew I would call out
Sometimes crying out to Jesus

In desperation

So many mistakes, so many difficult choices
He knew that I would falter
Lessons I needed to learn from them
There were times, when it was more that I could take

I cried out

People told me, God had a plan for me
Oh! at times I wish I knew
From the very first day I was born
As you can tell, it’s frustrating at times
But soon I started to see His way

A new journey started

God was teaching me patience
How to grow in patience
If only I knew, slowly
Love, trust, strength, faith and Grace

A new life in God

The love the grew inside me
All the good, that you do
God has be noticing the changes I made
He has seen the work I’ve done

He has carried me
Placed his hands
On my shoulders
Knowing the pain I carried
In my heart, each and every day

Life brought me to my knees
Some gave up on me
God has kept the ones around
That are true

There came a day
When I saw
The hand of God at work
The love He has been sharing
God saved my life
God created my life for me

 

A journey with God
In Jesus name Amen

(c)bjsscribbles

Who I am

I’ve been thinking today
How shattered my heart has been
I close my eyes
Thinking about the words
Words, I have written

Thousands of words have flowed

Building a new heart

I’ve explored so many caverns in my heart
Finding a deeper understanding of my life
Who I am
It’s been far from perfect
Some many years of tears
There is a view from a hill nearby
A cross stands on the hill
As I sit on the rail thinking
I am content now, with God in my life

The demons of life scared me for so many years
Crushed my self-esteem, a lifetime of self-esteem
Flushed, till now, scars are fading fast

So many stories of life, so many memories
Memories of times, now past
Yet I’ve stood up and faced life
My defeats speak to me, from time to time
Scars now fading, forgiving, yet do we forget

Confusion ruled my mind
The darkness of life ruled my life
My mind, ruled my world
There was a time, I was ready to quit
God pulled me back out of the darkness

The love of life now, rules the heart
People picked me up, sharing new memories
The person I am now, these people built me up
I am proud of who I have become
I know I am still on a journey
I am far different now
And that’s a miracle
God showed me there is love
Love has won…In Jesus name Amen
(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

What is healthy assertion- assertiveness-

These are some notes I’ve made lately after a visit to my psychologist. Sometimes through no fault of my own, I fall back not thinking I have the ability to stand my ground. I know I can do it stand my ground and talk with anyone, I’ve proven it with my blog.

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What is healthy assertion-
assertiveness-
Choice and communication
Making active choices
Assertion, Why? do you ask me to make choices?
I know I have the ability, to communicate
Opinions, thoughts, needs and feelings
In a direct manner, honest and appropriate
When we choose, making choices
I now recognise my rights, as a person
And responsibilities
I now recognise the rights of others
Making choices
Perhaps God is showing me
How to manage interpersonal situations
Respecting the rights of all concerned
Being assertive means taking care of myself
Without trampling over others

Having more confidence
Being assertive
More control over my life
Taking responsibility
Meeting my own needs
More self-esteem
Valuing myself
The right to express your opinions
I now meet my own needs
Being able to choose, having choices
Feeling okay about yourself
My needs, and actions

Not locked into a way of life

Yet walking with God

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

Stay with me Lord, you are my night and day

Be still, by the river
Sit quietly, knowing the river keeps rolling
Be still, your life keeps flowing
My soul, follows, only you know
I call on my dreams, till tomorrow comes
I know my love has known sorrow
My soul, follows, only you know

We’ll find a way, be still and listen
Stay with me Lord, you are my night and day
As the dawn rises beyond the sky
Be still and listen as the birds fly
My soul, follows, only you know

Knowing the river keeps rolling
Your life keeps flowing
Be still, Sit quietly, listening
Stay with me Lord, you are my night and day
My soul, follows, only you know

(c)bjsscribbles