Our Inner thoughts

When we are dealing with thought, thoughts create problems, and a thought can be changed.

Our inner thoughts, our experiences, life experiences, are a product of our problems. My life changing experiences have taken me on a road of self-discovery, learning not to hate myself, thinking I was a bad person for staying so long in a relationship that was so toxic. My thoughts produced a feeling of anxiety for so many years, leading to PTSD.

It takes an experience of witnessing an assault last week for me to realise, I did not buy into the argument and was able to walk away. My anxiety did rise a little for a couple of days, but I recovered quickly. I drove the thoughts out of my mind changing the feelings of terror, fear. I did report the incident to the police and council. The feeling did leave me quickly.

I am working on controlling my anxiety and PTSD, not using it as an excuse to stay hovelled up in my apartment/unit.  Realising the past has no power, I can control the negativity, feeling free in the moment is so important to me now. My thoughts ruled me for so long, it is true, and the list of fears would be so long, fearful thoughts that ruled me for a life time.

It was a habit with me, thinking the same thought over and over, in the end the choice was mine to make. Today I try desperately not to go down the road of negative thoughts; I set it in my mind not to. For so many years I had no way of experiencing positive thoughts.

There are so many people with life experience that live long suffering life, self-hatred, guilt; I admit I am one of them. Today I work on changing my life on all levels and keeping my self-respect I won back. I always felt I am not good enough, the thoughts were pushed down my throat for so many years, I did not know how to get out. The other thought I used so often, “I don’t deserve this”. Turning life experience around

It’s taken me a long time to get life altogether, it’s still a work in progress. Something would always go wrong, when I thought everything was going to run perfectly for a while. Sometimes resentment creeps in along with guilt, fear still causing problems for me. It’s problems I created by taking on board problems. This has caused problem for my health and in my life. I can take responsibility for taking on board the life stress. We are all responsible for everything in our life. Taking responsibility for what I take on board in my thoughts has sent people elsewhere. Claiming my life, my thoughts, I am no longer a door mat, for abuse. (c)bjsscribbles

 

There is a stillness in the air.

I found my deep sense of truth when I settled in a sleepy valley; I walked the ridges, hills, which bring a swift chill on a spring morning as you walk. Spending time here on my own, I held onto so many questions, I’ve needed answers for so many years. Interestingly while I know it would be beneficial to have answers, I didn’t know how hard it would be to reflect on the answers.

There is something about wandering, the trails of a sleepy valley, it brings out the joy, the spirit of God flows in my heart when I walk. There is a stillness that makes me delve into a deeper level of conversation with God. There is nothing between me and God to disturb our conversation, no outside influences. Just me, the fresh air how great the feeling.

Life becomes so much clearer as I walk; constant chatter from white noise disappears. It’s just me being me; no mask is needed as I walk. It just you or me walking, it can be challenging. During good and bad days, when I’m down walking is hard.

A liberating as walking is, there is always work to do. I see a path as I walk, I wonder where it will lead or if I was meant to travel this path. So many things I let go of as I walk. Disappointments, achievements, yet I create my life. Sometimes opportunities I see for a quick moment, God’s vision for me.

Now as each day rolls into one sometimes, I realise it’s the way life has always been. There’s no more to add or anything else to take away, or to place in a box closing the lid and forgetting that part of life happened. As hard as it is to let go of annoying habits, that have haunted me for many years. Today there are still possibilities. Now life is revealed, and everything has a clear intention.

Many things will change for me over the next few months and into the New Year. I have discovered a new world with God. I know I’m not done yet, there is so much more life ahead of me, I’ve had a taste of life and new experiences

Many things are going to change over this year. Last year with all of my traveling represented a opportunity for discovering the world. I know I’m not done yet but I’ve had a great taste of what that experience is like. My world has changed.

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

 

A journey with God

When God came into my life
I knew there was a higher power
I did not know what I would feel
The feeling that has risen from dust
God knew, I was searching
He knew what he would see when he found me

God created us, he put us here on earth
To lead this life, I begun anew
Learning as I go
Sharing, giving what I can

God knew I would stumble
Oh! how I have fallen at times
He knew I would suffer
He knew I would call out
Sometimes crying out to Jesus

In desperation

So many mistakes, so many difficult choices
He knew that I would falter
Lessons I needed to learn from them
There were times, when it was more that I could take

I cried out

People told me, God had a plan for me
Oh! at times I wish I knew
From the very first day I was born
As you can tell, it’s frustrating at times
But soon I started to see His way

A new journey started

God was teaching me patience
How to grow in patience
If only I knew, slowly
Love, trust, strength, faith and Grace

A new life in God

The love the grew inside me
All the good, that you do
God has be noticing the changes I made
He has seen the work I’ve done

He has carried me
Placed his hands
On my shoulders
Knowing the pain I carried
In my heart, each and every day

Life brought me to my knees
Some gave up on me
God has kept the ones around
That are true

There came a day
When I saw
The hand of God at work
The love He has been sharing
God saved my life
God created my life for me

 

A journey with God
In Jesus name Amen

(c)bjsscribbles

God’s deep voice

Lately I have needed to hear God’s voice immensely, suddenly life arrived again. Stress coveted my body again. I needed time to release and hear God’s voice. Maybe during that time I forgot prayer for awhile, sometimes the old ways creep in. Leaving that door open for the devil to creep in. Reminding me to keep in the word of God.

The seas have followed me
by slow shores, through
All the years
Lifting my heart
Beckoning

My heart now in song
My tears heard the song
My tears now quenched
Reasoning in nature
Existing

Hands laid upon my head
Whispers and sorrows led away
Ghastly shadows creep in
And in certain order
Choke my voice
I hear a voice
Perhaps Gods, deep voice is calling
Restored by gentle fingers
Placed upon my head

I cling to his fingers
Large dramatic fingers
But not forever
Through the waves of the seas that followed me
The seas will raise my song again

God’s deep voice calling

(c)bjsscribbles

I woke up yesterday

I woke up yesterday as I do each morning now, reaching for the kettle to make a cup of coffee. I thought to myself, “I am the best; I’ve been in a long time.”

There was a path to travel, laid out before me many years ago, I didn’t know it then as I do now. Now it is the time to travel the next path, I don’t know where it will lead, but I do know it is there. Experiencing freedom within one’s self is amazing as you walk with God close by. There is no sense of panic now, or any missing pieces, it is just clarity for the first time in my life.

When I left my home in Adelaide a short while ago, there was so many stories built up in my life, a very personal story. Why I was doing so much, and what my life meant to me. Truth is so important and incredibly valuable. A great deal of my life will stay very close to my heart.

However as the years have now gathered around me, I have carried on in my life, so many thing have changed. I’ve experienced many different things, and they have changed me. Settling where I have has slowly changed my heart, appreciating the smaller things, more importantly, settling into truly enjoying my own company, without trying to get to be somewhere else in life’s journey. I am home now.

I have traveled this great land Australia, listened to music, walked the many beaches of Australia. Now I realise there has been many happy moments in my life, with those special to me. Exploring the desert of Australia with my dogs, watching them frolic and play. Life is good

I lived, my life and have experienced much more in life than I ever thought I would, now I am living more than ever before. My experiences have served me well, now I am in contact with life and what is happening, my life has not been full of glamour, I’ve worked through the many rough patches. But most of all my life has given me clarity. My life path is now glowing so much clearer.

I am now walking the path and doing things I need to do. For this first time in my life I know what is right for me. I am committed to myself, making every effort to what is right. I have a chance now to live and I am taking it. When this year started I never expected the events to unfold the way they have, but life has now shaped me and helped me understand who I am. No matter what challenges may come my way, I can do this.

My journey is not over it is just changing, the season of life, I am now prepared for. Thoughts and doubts that surrounded me have gone. It taught me through space and time what truly mattered to me and I wouldn’t change my walk for the entire world.

I fit in now, all there is to do is to follow the path every single day God has set out for me

 

It’s time now for me to evolve, my story of life is engulf in my blog, it’s just a story in prose. The way life now has changed me, or how I see life. It doesn’t me it’s the way it is going to be. Over a short time I have changed, my words have changed me. I was tired depressed, oppressed, full of anxiety, I did not want to be that person anymore.

I was on a path to destruction, too frightened to speak, I could barely put too words together. I knew if I didn’t change, I would never change. I would not be alive now.

 

My blog has been a process of change, I have healed through the power of God, I have grieved for what I lost, I have moved on. Day by day, through my actions, through my changes, I am now living in the future. I don’t know where it is going to lead me, only God knows that, I don’t really wish to know.

Have you ever chosen something and wondered why? It is exactly what I have done in my life, God knew I would turn to him. I achieved life.

We can changed our lives and live, no-matter which way we go about it all. Life will not be perfect, but the future depends on today. The seeds of life were planted for me by a now good friend, helping me now to love and enjoy life today.

You can find your life. I did.

 

(c)bjscribbles

The inner soul

Lately I have struggled with my thoughts, there has been a great deal going on in my life. Turning to God has saved me more and more each day. Keeping me moving forward, I have been moving forward but I have struggled to write. The more I think I am getting there, I seem to take a step back.

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Music of life, created day and night
My nature is that of music
My lips have stammered
My sound has struggled
I utter a silent sound
Not able to fulfill the need of others
Dreams, thought, feelings interlaced
Inwardly, all senses answer the call
Tunes, so mysterious to the ear
Which step out to greet, granting infinite pleasure
From the darkness of the night, to the light of day
The soul I struggle to bear, the song of  my soul,
My inner soul has struggled
Through the portals of hearing, the beauty
Now of night, utter all sounds
Thunder now of night, breaks its own cloud
My flesh shivers, before my soul

(C) bjsscribbles

There is one who came for us

Call the Holy Spirit
“Come to my soul, Holy Spirit”
Fill my soul, with your presence
I feel an awe when I know You are near
Always as I breathe, Your Spirit
Your desire
To teach us all,
Your pleasure to show
The gentle flow of Your Spirit
Teaches us to grow
To those who believe
A comforter has come
The Holy Spirit
I am one
Who thought
There is other ways
Now I ask the God the Father
As I lay my troubles at the cross
Jesus shows me the way
With, Faith, Truth, Strength, Courage
There is no other God
There are powers, beyond the realm
Mighty powers we fight
Jesus rose on the third day
Fight of the power of the devil
Dear, Heavenly Father, I feel your Spirit
In the breath I breathe,
I worship You each day
My quiet time I dwell on You
While I wait for You to come
In Jesus name Amen
Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

For God is Love

A river flows through my body
I am a river
I have been lost in a river
Flowing from God’s sea
God mapped my course for me, through devious ways
I am a river, it’s mine to toil, yet I cannot change it
I try to keep the waters, free, flowing freely
The story of my river start where it ends
Winding
A whish of perfume gathers in the air
Healing from the grasses as my river passes
As I gather my daily course, and return to the source
Of my river that passes through my body
The current moves swiftly as I go
Tears from my river flow, returning to God’s sea
From which all rivers rise, gathering glistening stones and gems
I leap with Joy, as I follow my winding river
Over valley covered in flowers
I leave the valley, untouched
Not devastated, but comforted in my heart
For others to follow
Knowing that God planned my ways
And is standing near, I follow the path
Along my river
God left for me, bravely without fear
Love has sent me in search of God
For God is Love
In Jesus name..Amen
(c)bjsscribbles

When I started my Journey

We are all on a journey, a journey to overcome. The Lord does not have a problem with people who fail. Our Lord does have a problem with those that fail, and won’t get up, and start again. Believe me I have had to pick myself up many times, dust myself off, start again. Overcoming many barriers in the past few years has taken me on a wild ride at times. This is my thoughts for today as I fight through this attack on my health.
2 Corinthians 10:4
4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
Revelations 2:11
11 “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. He who overcomes shall not be hurt by the second death.”’

My life has not been easy, rebuilding, to begin with it was not a bumper crop of vegetables freshly growing. There were many weeds that sprung up from time to time. Sometimes it felt like insects scurry through my vegetables, suffering from stress. I have continued with my journey, cultivating my life, faithfully, watching it flourish. Encouraging colour in my life, filling in the gaps, getting rid of the weeds, nurturing my life, the result has been a bumper life with God at my side.
Walking with the Lord, I have come to learn and reassure myself, it does not matter what happened yesterday or how well we are doing in our private life. What is important to us all, the Lord is there He is the same today and always, He is there forever.
Hebrews 13:8
8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
I remind myself as I have done today is to overcome the obstacles by giving it all up to God. It is the best defence against Satan. Using the word of God, cultivates the situation, so the Lord can bless and prosper it. By doing this it has helped me grow and overcome many obstacles.
I praise God for what He has done in my Life.
In Jesus name Amen

The beauty of God’s world, amazes me

The beauty of God’s world amazes me, each morning. At the moment without God in my life, I don’t know how I would get through each day. After my Doctors appointment, I have been doing some thinking and wrote this.

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I walk each morning enjoying the early morning sunrise,
I tilt my head across the hills, focusing my eyes on the soft powdery sky
A soft gentle breeze crosses my body, I feel a presence
My eyes search, the horizon, there is a quietness about
The early morning brings a special time for me
God’s peace is with me, each morning
Trees, and vines, growing rapidly
Birds, guide my pathway, from tree to tree

Among the hills
The beauty of God’s world, amazes me
Each day I feel God as I walk and continually pray
The sun rises over the hills, images rise among the clouds
Dear Heavenly Father, I cry out to you for help, keep me safe,
Show me the way of life, give me hope, there is always hope
As my Faith grows, along with Trust, I feel Your love, God
Your love has given me the strength to face my fears
A gentle breeze flows across my body, sending shivers down my spine
God is with me, I know He is there
With God in my life, I know I am never alone
God, I know You were with me, right from my birth
I’ve opened my heart to You, You are inside my heart
Guiding me, trust is now abiding in my heart
My prayers to You have enabled me to master my life
God never leaves us, I know that now
A soft breath of air crosses my face
God has heard me this morning
Life has gathered me to a life I never knew, now many surprises each day
Strength, trust, faith in God, outweighs, sorrows, or regrets.
There is a tomorrow, the sun will shine, my walks guided by God
Continue each day, with birds singing God’s tune
Memories come and go, I remind myself, memories also fade
But now I live to enjoy life anew each day, and all it may bring.

(c)bjsscribbles

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Phil 4:13

 

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

 

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deut. 31:6

 

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Eph. 6:10

 

The LORD is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him. Psalm 28:7

 

I will go in the strength of the Lord GOD; I will make mention of Your righteousness, of Yours only. Psalm 71:16