A letter to myself

Taking time out from your life, working out where your life is going, what you’re achieving in life. I’ve had to do this recently, realizing where I am at and where I am headed.

It was a silent time, taking time out. The last few years had been so busy; I had not spent time on me.

Spending time on me, shedding of the past, had lifted a great deal of weight of my shoulders, treading on new ground had transformed me. It didn’t happen in a moment, or a split second, accepting different life circumstances has given me a new life.

It’s something we need to do; taking time out, enabling me to keep moving forward in my life.

I remember, I had a great deal of dreams in my life, goals, things I desired to achieve, and they failed. I could not formulated them, get down to the nuts and bolts of them, I couldn’t bring them into reality. The big dreams were dreams, but they never were accomplished, today I reflect on them and know why they were never accomplished. One big word for and that is “Life”, it is only a small word but it has a great deal of meaning. Today I am accomplishing a few of my dreams. Sorting out the untidy bits of my life has been a challenge.

I am excited about life, but I bought myself down to ground level, trying to understand what I have achieved, my efforts I put into each and every day. I know I still have mountains to climb.

At the moment, focusing on what is here and now is difficult, dreams are wonderful, but you have to focus on what is here and now. Focusing on today, I remind myself, will help in creating the end result.

It’s hard to do that, I get so excited now about life. My phycologist gave me a hug and told me, “Have a great life.”

Part of me, says there is a turmoil going on inside me, exploring a new found freedom in life. Can we ever get in our own way of life? I think we can on so many levels.

I know I have been, growing more each day, developing as an individual, understanding all that is a challenge. Discovering finally I am becoming a person that I was meant to be all those years ago. I have been trying to raise my standards, to keep moving forward. My life kept me out of practice for so many years.

By focusing on one thing at a time, will ease the pressure of new life.

I guess, this is a lesson I have to learn, I know there will be difficulties levelling my life. I am faced with new challenges and situations. I know it will lead me, somewhere else; I will grow further even better than before. Taking the steps I have taken in my life, I will need to discipline myself to remain focused.

The way I was before, just won’t cut it anymore, I have to grow, evolve. There is an idea I have on the table at the moment. By completing it, I know I will grow further.

 

Constantly improving my life will lead me to new heights.

This is going to take my energy, to get up this new mountain; I love to walk to climb mountains. I know I can achieve this, my heart and mind is focused on my next journey.

Each new morning is a new step, chipping away and I will achieve.

I am committed to every day.

When we untie the chains of the past we can achieve. With the amazing Grace of God.

 

©bjsscribbles

If only

 

My changing face of life came late in life, but my life is still a work in progress. My face has not changed but the mask that I wore for so many years has changed.

 

Would life be so much simpler if we could lift that mask early in life? For some of us it just doesn’t happen till we are ready.

I was so uncomfortable, trying to be someone, I wasn’t. I wore the mask of someone in pain during my life for a long time. Wearing that face, I became someone so alone unable, to connect fully with people. I don’t know fully how it all happened, I do really, and it was from a time when I was so oppressed in life. For far too many years, I was insignificant. I still get nervous in crowds but life is getting easier. I try to play down my achievements for some reason. I am not sure, I think it was because my Dad was such a humble person. I am now starting to show the world what I have achieved even in my writing.

 

You can come out the other side, but still I am apprehensive about what scares me.

 

I faced so many fears as I worked with my psychologist; I have developed more courage, more strength in the past few months. I actually partly have been running on adrenaline with some of the things I have been doing. I am amazed what I am capable of. I think as I face new challenges in life, the fear has given me strength to keep moving forward.

I think of some of the things I achieved since I have been on my own, I have done out of fear. I traveled Australia. I did it on my own. There was a great deal of people out there doing the same as me; few were single women with a couple of dogs. Settling in a strange town on my own, facing barrages of questions, “Who are you?” everyone desiring to know who this strange person was with two dogs. “Where are you from?” what drove you to this place? There were so many questions I didn’t wish to answer, but slowly I did.

 

I am not in the same place; I challenge myself now to different answers. I am a different person now.

I feel I am on top of the mountain now. It’s been a slow climb, but I made it.

I had this moment up on the top of the mountain that is hard to explain. A deep feeling of emotion lately. Being able to breathe, without panic.

When I journey now, where ever I journey, I look up into the sky, “I have arrived, thank you for giving me life” I am going to keep doing, what I am doing, journeying outside my comfort zone. To challenge myself, body and mind, to be stronger each day than I ever was in life.

Finding you, myself, I have developed different beliefs; I attempt things I have never done before in my life. Not settling for mediocrity.

Facing what is thrown at you in life is hard work, learning to face yourself every day, challenging yourself to try and do things you have never done before. This is hard. At first, I found it very easy to stay huddled up, wallowing in self-pity, it seemed the easy way out. Then I found I, had to get out there and live, not being walked on by everyone else.  Climbing those mountains life challenges, I had to take those challenges on to see what happens. Why not give a mountain challenge with God on your side and see what happens.

The mountains, the challenges I have faced will stay with me for a long time. It signifies special moments in my life. Taking down the mask of life and putting myself to the test of life.

Writing my blog has enabled me to see how far I have traveled, how much I have faced in my journey.

Everyone has faced mountains in their life, when we do we take the experience with us and grow building us up, instead of bringing us down. The mask of life only comes off when we go outside our self and journey beyond our comfort zone.

My scenes of my life I have created help me make decisions to tear down the many masks I wore and face my fears.

 

How many mountains have you climbed? Can you repeal the many masks of life?

(c)bjsscribbles

 

Trusting in God’s Salvation

I have a cup of warm soup beside me; it is cold and wet in South Australia. I look out of my window and find rain is doing my garden good. I’ve done the work settling myself, now all I wish to do is sit and look at my garden without the work, but there are no shortcuts in life.  Even when you say, “I’ve done enough in my life.”

 

“I want that look,” I said wistfully to myself, “without all the work.” My friends have big gardens when I visit I am able to enjoy without the work. The last few years have been a great deal of work, getting my life on track.

I have done a great deal of work this year, discovering the ability to enjoy shortcuts, when it is practical. In 2016 I was given the okay to stop seeing my psychologist, but I discovered earlier this year 2017 it was too soon to stop. I had a PTSD attack of the worst kind. I felt dead on the inside and was vomiting. I wanted the greatness of life without finishing the work I started; there were risks involved by taking my journey another step further. I was pleasing God and giving him the rewards for my healing, but I soon discovered I had to take the next step.  The next step was the power of “Imagery” in psychology, in my experience it has been a powerful tool in healing. It has done wonders for me

https://psychcentral.com/lib/what-is-imagery/

We desire to please God, but not when it inconveniences us.

In my walk with God I have come to learn there is no shortcuts, once I turned my life over to God, it was all or nothing. God pulled me up out of the gutter and saved my life. There is no turning my back on God now. My life has changed radically.

A friend once told me, “God will repay what was stolen from you”, I cannot remember the exact words. By turning my faith to Jesus, the first day I walked into a church not so long ago. To be honest, I could not remember when I was last in a church, now-a-days it is every weekend. But it all has been so worth it. God has not given up on me; I live a joyful life, a peaceful life now, walking with God each day

It has not been easy turning my life to God, but it is so worth it.

Psalm 130:4 But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can …

But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you. …

But you offer forgiveness, that we might learn to fear you. …

Luke 1:77 to give his people the knowledge of salvation through …

to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins …

Daniel 5:17 Then Daniel answered the king, “You may keep your …

Then Daniel answered the king, “You may keep your gifts for yourself and

give your rewards to someone else. Nevertheless, I will …

 

Daniel 2:6 But if you tell me the dream and explain it, you will …

But if you tell me the dream and explain it, you will receive from me gifts

and rewards and great honor. So tell me the dream and …

 

1 Samuel 26:23 The LORD rewards everyone for their righteousness …

The LORD rewards everyone for their righteousness and faithfulness. The … The

LORD rewards each man for his integrity and loyalty. Even …

 

Isaiah 1:23 Your rulers are rebels, partners with thieves; they …

… Your rulers are rebels And companions of thieves; Everyone loves a bribe

And chases after rewards. They do not defend the orphan …

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

Gentle whispers of God

Gentle whispers echo
Listen for those soft whispers
Hear the beat within your soul
Telling you, listen silently
For the direction of your heart
Which way will you go

Clear your mind
Of all the stories
Blocking your way
The light is shinning on your path
Feel your heart gently
Feel free

Feel with your fingers
Run, with your fingers
Feel the pull
Don’t deviate
Beware of the distraction

Dedicate yourself
Dedicate.
One step at a time.
But there is a choice.

What we see
Our mind, has moved our heart
So we give ourselves time
To dig, to search

Sometimes we continue to dig
But it is in the same place
You keep digging, searching
It doesn’t work

Life becomes clearer
When they do it is exciting
Life becomes interesting again
There is no doubt in your mind
This is the path, the path to reality
Life is not “That will do”
There is a path to follow for you and I

Gentle whispers of God
Listen for those soft whispers
Hear the beat within your soul
Telling you, listen silently
For the direction of your heart
Which way will you go
Follow the gentle whispers of God

He is the wind, He is the air we breathe
He will lead you to your Path

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

Deep inside our minds

Lately I have been doing some deeper work with my psychologist opening deep secrets that I carried with me right through my life. Finally dealing with life, I am moving on further. Each line I have written has meaning for me. Dealing with the past with imagery is a powerful tool.
—————————————————————–
Where is meaning in this world
I have struggled to find meaning
We all know this world, yet we struggle
Today we try, but yet we wonder

I wonder where it is all going to end
Where should we all go?
There is so much hidden
Questions unanswered
Will we ever find the answers
The answers hidden, among the maze of the world
Deep inside our minds
Hidden deep in our inner soul

Life that is hidden, life we try to hide
Life does find you,
And it all releases
All the secrets of life hidden beneath the shield
The secrets of life can ruin the life you have made
Free up your life and release the secrets, dark secrets
The memories will fade, hidden in our lives
So many stories untold, of things we didn’t want told
The world came to a close for me, I told someone
Finally closure, my feelings are known
The struggle will soon be over
I am finally home

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

Songs of our lives

Songs of our life are the tunes of God
God writes the words, the patterns
We set the tune, to music each day
Songs of sadness, sweetness, or glad
We choose the time, fashion, each situation

We write the tune, whatever song of life
Rhyme or reason, sadness, we can turn into joy
We can turn Joy into Joyfulness

Each life has a song, that is free and strong
Music he writes is only a small part
Sadness, the pain in life
The singer becomes the story teller

The singer talks to God, in his voice
A hymn resinate’s across the sky
He knows not how the words sound
Words lonely and sad, because
The tune is dreary

Music ringing across the sky
Under the tune of sadness
The song of another
Through words, turns pain into gladness

Triumphant words, now ring out
Giving the world, more joy
Setting ourselves alive, in the world of God
So whether our songs are sad or not
In which the heart is now set alive
We can live and survive

(c)bjsscribbles

With God’s world

Thoughts, carry on the breath of wings
I hold my thoughts close
Skillfulness deep within
We send our thoughts forth
To fill the world

Our innermost thoughts
Messages the remotest spot
Leaving a message of blessing
Or messages of woes
Leaving footsteps behind as it flows

I remember, its all in Gods timing
My body is still, as I sit thinking my thoughts
All the thoughts I have not known
Or dare to share, and yet thoughts when alone

Today my thoughts have life
They fly, on the wind, with the breath of God
Impressing me, as the leave
A breath flows into my home
Following me, with messages

At the time when we forget
There are times when we outgrow our thoughts
A thought that vanishes, sometimes
Will make it back to your mind
Finding it home as a companion
Nesting in your mind

Share your secret thoughts
A vital part of life
Shaping your world
Molding life
Within Gods world

(c)bjsscribbles