Strength and determination

Strength and determination
As uncertain as destiny
Gathers in our mind
Lightening moments, bolt, shock, stimulate
Frivolous in flight, strength and determination
With my head held hight
Determination gives strength
From soul to soul, across my world
As a birds wings flutter
And the thoughts we utter
As forests touch the wind
Wings flutter, across my world

Dreams galore gather
Clouding my vision
At times bitter thoughts have power
To hide gnawing, corroding, my mind
Destroying the brightest light
Think love in determination
There’s hope in strength anew
Dreaded thoughts, give determination
The right to succeed
Renovating a blessed life
With the sword of faith held high

(C)bjsscribbles

Provide a time limit on anger

There was a time when I would not speak up for myself, letting people walk all over me. When the tables are turned people get a shock, people do not know how to handle the change. I am still a peace maker, I like peace in my life.

This was something I needed to write. Handling my life with God’s help.

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“Don’t let the sun go down on your anger”
Fed up with interference, not saying anything about annoying habits,
Being talked about behind your back, finally with the strength of God
You can confront a person about a problem, unfortunately,
Both parties ding their heels in, my anger has always had trouble,
I am a peacemaker, I usually suppress my feelings,
It takes a while for me to explode, I stewed too long in my life,
Creating a breeding ground for bitterness, It’s time to speak the truth
I started to learn, provide a time limit on anger, holding it in, is no good,
Place it at the feet of God, He can fight the explosion of anger,
The power of God’s forgiveness and love, He can save us

Anger can implode out of control, put out the blaze of anger with God’s help
We fear, I know I’ve feared what people think of us, It’s hard to admit,
When we are angry, There is a lifetime of anger, stress built up in my body
I’ve tried to keep, relationships intact, in harmony, speaking the truth in love,
But when it’s not accepted, I had to walk away, staying within my comfort zone,
Only time will tell, I’ve listened, to the other persons perspective,
There is the love of God, with the goal of restoration, one day.

“Don’t let the sun go down on your anger”

Col 3:8  But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Psa 37:8  Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
Pro 14:29  He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.
Jas 1:19  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
(c)bjsscribbles

The path to peace, can be simple

So many questions
Questions rattled my mind
Largely remained unanswered
I’ve been holding onto life
Till I realised it’s time to change

I’ve had glimpses of life
Leading to the way ahead
God has shown me small steps
Stepping stones to a world
Illuminated right in front of me
A sense of life in the big picture
Pieces still yet to be filled in
Yet leading me to what I needed to do and needed to let go of
I prayed and prayed earnestly, God showed me
How! the brain fog was lifted
It was so easy, to gain peace

The path to peace,
Can be simple if we let it
I felt as though
I was traveling along the path
But didn’t really know it
I just really needed to
Believe in myself
God was showing me a lesson in life

I wandered in a blur
For so many years, then,
There had been a silence that had fallen
Leaving enough space, to show me
Letting go, learn to let go, echoed
Where do I go next?
There are still parts of my life
I need to step back from

 

And so I am
I wont say it is easy
There are moments
When I fall into the old
Then turn commit to right choice
Again and again
Not looking back

 

.(c)bjsscribbles

 

Renovating your heart, Renovating your thoughts

Thoughts how they gather
Words are thoughts
Gathered in our mind
They don’t need wings
To fly
Lightening bolt moments
That gather, from soul to soul
As a birds wings flutter

 

A bitter thought has the power to hide
Gnawing at your heart, hiding
It still has the power to corrode
Destroying your mind

If we think love
There is times when we don’t
Yet we can encourage love
Lighting the world
Renovating your heart
Renovating your thoughts

Matthew 12:25 Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.

Exodus 28:3 You shall speak to all who are wise-hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom, that they make Aaron’s garments to sanctify him, that he may minister to me in the priest’s office.

(c)bjsscribbles

Moving closer to God

After living for so many years as an oppressed person, change was difficult for me. As I started to grow as an individual making decisions for myself, enjoying life for the first time in decades. I have felt deeply about the sudden changes in my life. My feelings have been that of joy and happiness, sometimes sadness because I have had to stand on my own and make decisions that are for the rest of my life. The changes in life situations have been for the better, it doesn’t mean it has been easy. Lately feelings rose again, I am growing within myself, yet people find it hard to accept I have changed. People I have known all my life.
As I grow more there is a deep shift away from a former way of life, towards a life of confidence.
I’ve been doing a great deal of reading lately with the help of my psychologist about assertiveness, plus when you are under assertion. That was me for decades, never expressing my feelings; my feelings were curtailed by everyone around me. My needs and opinions were placed as second to others. My rights to communicate were not met. I often ended up doing what others wanted not what I wanted or needed in my life. Emotionally, unassertiveness eroded my self-esteem. I have criticized myself for not being able to speak for myself over the decades, but when you were controlled for so much of your life; it takes a long time to get to the stage where your voice is heard. There was so much anger, bitterness, resentment, disappointment bottle up for decades. Such feelings were imploding inside my body causing panic an anxiety that I did not know how to control. I can see now where being unassertive has affected my life. I really do know there is another way of life. The shift inside me is for the better.
Many things inside me have been excited, and there is a lot more to come, as I clear out old feelings. Motoring around my feeling of panic an anxiety is pretty heart and soul wrenching, I do have some good memories of my life. I need to place to memories in a box, and bring them out only when I need. It has also made me think lately about looking after my wellbeing.
I spent a lot of time as the peace maker, sacrificing myself, giving in to mend situations. Placing myself in peril. I am not the only one in life that has had to do that in the world. Deep in my heart, I knew, I finally had to let go and walk away for many reasons. My world was broken. Leading me now to walk with God, there have been a few situations this year where I have huddled in a corner frightened to come out, I knew it was wrong but I couldn’t help it.
We are coming to the last few months of the year, I have wondered where it has all gone, and for the most part it has been a healing year. I am very reflective of my journey; it has been a long road. Soon it will be my 65th year and I reflect on my journey more. There have been so many things that happened in just a few short years. I do not know what is coming up for me down the line. I’ve seen a great deal of the old ways of life disappear and new ways evolve more. My standards of life have grown
My walls were up, hardening myself, building that boundary not letting anyone in for so many years. Slowly it has come down softening my heart. When I was first on my own, I didn’t wish to have anyone have that power over me anymore, I didn’t let anyone in. I lost, but soon realized it is a new life. I admit I made mistakes, I am far from perfect, and my morals are true to God and myself. Life is going to be good. As I heal further.

(c)bjsscribbles

2 Corinthians 5:11-21

11 Knowing therefore the terror of the Lord, we persuade men; but we are made manifest unto God; and I trust also are made manifest in your consciences.

12 For we commend not ourselves again unto you, but give you occasion to glory on our behalf, that ye may have somewhat to answer them which glory in appearance, and not in heart.

13 For whether we be beside ourselves, it is to God: or whether we be sober, it is for your cause.

14 For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead:

15 And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again.

16 Wherefore henceforth know we no man after the flesh: yea, though we have known Christ after the flesh, yet now henceforth know we him no more.

17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation.

20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God.

21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

In pursuit of life

When nothing goes to plan along the pathway to peace
When we think of the pathway to success
life  never comes in a straight path
It arrives, but it’s all over the place
Advance and retreat, Advance and retreat
So many times
That’s how it is for everyone
Two steps forward, two steps backward
I’ve talked about mistakes
Learning from mistakes
When life goes array
Time and time again
Trying, keep moving forward
In pursuit of goals

There was a time
When I sat still
Huddled in a corner
I thought about success
Going about life, in a blurr

Now pursuing life
Your part of life
I feel life each day

When we know where we are going
We will get there, I know I will
I know I’ve paid a price
Nothing has come easy
And it still doesn’t

Pursuing life
Paying the price
Rewards are coming my way
Dreams are being fulfilled
(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

I feel the wind but the tears

Minutes of uncertainty
The many chilly hours
I desire the warmth
Of your mind
I feel the wind
Your all around me chilly
I take your hand feeling you circle me
And try to catch the wind again
I hide behind your smile at sunset
Day fades into night
Everywhere I look
I try to find you
The sweetest sounds of desire
Would make me sing
I feel the wind but the tears
As the rain comes wiping tears
Behind the walls of the wind
Standing by your heart
Longing to catch the wind
I try to find you

(c0bjsscribblesFeatured Image -- 6882

 

 

 

Passenger of life

When we are searching
Looking for direction
Let your heart guide you
Our dreams fall apart
Broken to dust
Times when we have troubles
Trusting, as long as life endures

Let the signs remind us
We are passengers of life
Let the signs remind us
Let go, surrender
I was once lost

Faith had died
There was no spark
The lights had gone out
Courage can fail you
When all the hope of life runs dry
When the flesh and heart fail

Let the signs remind us
We are passengers of life
Let the signs remind us
Let go, surrender
I was once lost

We’ve been here so long
Following the bright shinning sun
Find comfort in God’s promises
Find inner peace, the hunger doesn’t cease.
(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

Peace and Hope

Lately I’ve been wondering, “Why?” I’m exhausted in the last 6 years I’ve done a great deal. I’ve done a complete turn around in my life. Resettled built a home, not literally moved into a small home. God replaced all the things I lost tenfold. I did  not realise how exhausting life can be renewing your life. There has been so much I gathered in 6yrs, so much life.

 

A jolt of energy has happened today
Energy to write, I’ve struggled lately
My sleep takes me on a journey
Something inside me shifts into place
The old ways of life and “being” seem to shed off me
The weight is lighter on my shoulders
I’m floating, today
“I’ve changed
All that I know and known to be true”
The path I’m traveling, I’m not to blame

 

The good and the bad, everything and I mean everything
Are all part of my life, I don’t know why things happened
Or what is going to happen, there’s
Just knowing someone is there
Looking after me, no matter what
God is there

Habits and ways well lived for a long time
Have ways of showing up at inopportune times
Holding you from moving forward
There are times when I’m stuck
Struggling to move forward
I’ve been leaping forward then
I crash in exhaustion

Life takes me on a ride
Full of ups and downs
Life keeps moving
Far beyond my reach
I don’t have much option
It’s life

I have a say in the path I take
Carry within my heart what it knows to be true
Honour the whispers that linger
In my soul
They will carry me on my path
to success

I’ve been continually letting go
I’ve struggled, but I had to let go
Parts of me that are well worn
I don’t need them anymore
From time to time they rise
I have the ability to live above them
I know I can do it

There is the journey of life to take now
The piers where my life stood before
Have been wipe clean

There’s a new day rising
There is only forward now

 

(c)bjsscribbles

Peace and Hope
Romans
5. 1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us..

Praise to God for a Living Hope
1 Peter 3-5
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

A breeze flows

I lay down on the sand beside quiet waters
Feeling the sand beneath my toes,
Refreshing as I feel the sun warming my soul
I  Could smile upon the whole

Guided towards the ocean, born of the ocean
The ocean was always in my heart
A breeze flows across my body calling me leading
Along unknown paths not yet found
Even though I have walked the darkest of paths
I fear no more evil

The ocean caresses our soul
An ocean breeze praise her beauty
Of nature and beauty, a creature of light
The ocean can posses you

“When you are with me I fear no evil
You comfort me in the presence of mine enemies”

Sorrows and anger, flood the ocean floor
There were times when I wondered “Why was love born?”
Beauty was born of and oceans breeze

You prepared the table of life before me
Your Rod and your Staff comfort me
As I walk toward the ocean, one natural morning
Those footsteps, I wonder, carrying me forward

Your goodness and love have changed me
The wind tosses my hair around
Emotion stir my soul, the lingering embrace of God
Deep within an oceans heart

He created the seas and established the waters
While you are with me, I fear no evil, you comfort us all

In Jesus name Amen…..(c)bjsscribbles