Silence in the unknowns

My Footsteps search new places
Places I’ve never been before
The shifting sands that speak
Footsteps in desert sands
Speak to my soul
Introduced unknowns
One free whisper
Brings comfort in solitude
Silence in the unknowns
I hear them welcoming me
Footstep calling me for such a long time
Quiet me down, seek and discover
Knock and a door will open
Ask and receive new lands
They breathe the air of realisations
That littered my life,
Making changes, clarity
I’ve connected the dots lately
Where only a short time ago I was lost
I still have unanswered questions

Divided by roads not yet taken
Those roads are becoming closer
As I walk through the next coming days
Those questions, I will leave, for now
While I move into the next phase of my life
No more pushing and pulling at my heart
I know, answers will arrive
From the heights of the mountain forests
There is no time limit
Don’t rush, let it be

I don’t feel alone anymore
I feel more connected
I feel the footsteps of God
Across the desert sands to the mountains
There is love that has always been there
Love that is growing
I found something deeper
That I avoided for a life time

 

It was always meant to happen
I lived in denial for so long
Finally answering the call of God
You can always try and avoid the call of God
But the truth is always there
Shinning the beacon light of God
Despite your attempts to stay hidden
Step into the light

You may not know where you are for a time
I know I didn’t know where I was
The feeling of being lost arrives at moments
You’re beyond where you once were
You’ve moved past the past, you’re experiencing new things
You’re growing, comes all of the greatness of life and adventures

To heal and regenerate body, mind, and soul
I had no idea of what to expect, my emotions,
My thoughts, my faith has grown
My guidance from God
For me that’s enough
Faith, trust, and the grace of God
.
I know I can do this, the wind will blow
Calling me to something great
Things will change the course of my life
One step at a time
Divided by roads not yet taken
Those roads are becoming closer
(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

To feel life as I do now

A beautiful time of day
Dusk, on a summer’s eve
Under the Australian sun
I never want to die
I want to live forever

To feel life as I do now

Will it be ever possible,
The trees, with branches covered in leaves
Covered in blossom, picked by faith
OH! they barely feel us walking beneath
The corners, the footpaths, we turn and walk
Maybe the life journey we take
Continue to hold us all on earth
There are days I walked through life
As though I was in limbo
Forgetting to look around.
Without turning my head
A beautiful time of day, Dusk
On a summers eve, I want to live forever
Where the vine grows over the fence
Dangling the fruit of God
The joys of a childhood once remembered here
Imagining our deep root on earth
(c)bjsscribbles

Standing up to all the demons in my life

There have been times over the years, where I wanted to throw in the towel, give in and quit. But I have held on progressing further each day.

It has taken all my strength to hold standing up to all the demons in my life. I’ve taken a complete new road, walking with God. I’m staying away from the wolves, keeping away from the prey. The wolves are just around the corner, waiting for me to fail, attacking at the greatest moment of weakness.

 

I keep reminding myself, stay strong, hold firm it’s my life now. The odds were well and truly stacked up against me when I first walked away from life, there was no-one who believed in me or what I was doing. I dug into my faith started searching for a new way of life. I knew there had to be another way to live, I couldn’t go back. I began to live the way of the gospel my belief grew an I reminded myself why I was doing it. No-one could take my journey it was my choice.

Many showed their opinions feeding doubt into my mind and soul, despite their best intentions. It was never about me or what I was doing, it was always about them. It was their fear speaking not mine. It was the sense of possibility showing about my choices.

I have travelled a path others in my life couldn’t achieve, silencing the outside voices in my life. I admit there is a silence in my heart, it is a fear, I tell myself, “Don’t soften, endure” Hold on tight, you are there for the long ride.

I have been challenged in many ways lately, as I continue to believe, my hearts desire to know more about the gospel, my thirst for adventure, to spread my wings further. I’ve been looking back over the years, since I left my home, my increased faith, it has been unconventional but my life now is true and good.

 

Though challenges, have been many, especially those of the devil, yet I know deep down, somewhere inside, my heart has shone, that has been the most poignant part of my journey. I could have quite a long time ago ended this journey abandoned, time and time again. Giving to wolves their biggest opportunity ever to consume my life again

I could of conducted my life differently, that would’ve set me down many other paths. For some reason I chose the way of the gospel, no-matter what arrives now, I’ve been able to follow my faith, walking with God. Maintaining my faith is important to me now.

There are times when I feel as though I am walking through my life in a blur, maybe it’s the demons trying to attack. Staying in touch with God, putting on the Helmet of Salvation. I feel my heart is guided by my sense of faith.

Faith is no accident, there is something truly there for me, faith that I can continue. My life is now worth something, ablaze with all the aspects of life. Without the wolves preying at my mind.

Read Ephesians 6:10-20

 

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

Whispers

 

Whispers
Quiet down. The silence in your heart
The silence in your mind hears a whisper in your heart
A spec of sand, carried in the wind like the depths of your soul
Guiding you diverting you, experience that rattles your mind
All things that happen in life, by a small infinite amount
This life we lead is so limited to what could be or could’ve been
Sit quietly, listen, feel at one with life and what you know
Connect with what you already know, feel at one with the moment
God is there, grounding you deep within the earth, when you are seeking answers

When you sit, you’ll find the answer are not beyond you, when you are truly with God

As I sit here clearing my mind, my answers come, letting go, making space for the new
As I’ve settled more and more, it’s about my feelings deep down, taking away what was keeping me from living
I’m making my mind work for me now
Not against me, growing with my emotions
Not letting them work against me
I needed silence in my life
Creating my stories, my health, my mind
Feeling at one with God, was in the quiet
Just me guiding my life, letting my heart guide me where I need to go
That unexpected feeling you feel when you take up the reigns of your life
I spent a great deal of time on my own, guiding myself towards this moment
All that time didn’t take me directly to where I needed to be

My soul has kept me in the vicinity of where I needed to be
Helping me turn into myself finally, parts of me resisted, inwardly crying out

There is still fear, little bits of fear, but new energy has evolved
As I look over my life, there is the person today, whom may have done things differently
Oh! wisdom takes hold of my thoughts, “How much energy it has taken from me to get where I am”
I know I couldn’t haave done things differently
I’ve had to walk the path I’ve taken
I think of everything I’ve done, everything I’ve gone through
I know I’ve have to keep walking forward
Creating a new life, being creative
Walking with God
(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

The layers of life

As I pull back the layer of my life, it’s like peeling an onion, sometimes there is a few tears, sometimes buckets. Then you begin to see things in a new light. Shaking the very foundation of your life, I’ve had to face the reality of life and my actions, trusting yourself is so important.
Recently I have been meandering around looking at pictures of myself since I started this journey, searching different layers of my healing. The innermost mask I wore for so many years was staring at me, waiting for me to peel back the layer that haunted me for so many years. I’ve looked at that picture and searched the realities of that life, a hundred years ago now. It seems like forever. I understood what had existed then and it now scares me to think of that life and how it was back then.
I’ve put that journey behind me now, those areas of my life are too hot to handle, I’ve dealt with everything, sometimes they hurt, but I am able to deal with them now, working through the pain has allowed me to heal. I’ve healed in so many ways. The landscaping around the tree of life, has started to look complete, as I approach the next step of my life. I never thought I could even think I would be living the way I am. It’s time for living.
The next chapter or box in my life is slowly opening, there are unhandled situations. I’ve chosen a different walk in life now and that has paved the way for the person I am now. I can see now who I am and I am enjoying being me.
My world has shifted, unfolding on deeper levels of healing, no matter what has happened in the past. Life is not finished it’s just unfolding differently now. I know I’ve only scratched the surface. Of my new life.

Many years ago I thought I was over growing pains but they are with me now, I’ve been scared about committing to anything. But the other part of me pushed myself into committing to a few things, digging deep into energy that was left, taking steps to grow into the next step of healing.

People have been talking to me lately about writing my testimony, it means going back over my story. Refining life. I have written a great deal, one heck of a lot, there is still much I need to explore, I have to find the energy to dive into it all. The path has to begin soon, wandering back through all the dark caverns of ones life, illuminating everything good or bad. How much baggage I’ve held onto.
With a road map in hand and a compass, I will take that journey.

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

I see

In the closing hours of the night my brain wakes up continually, Shh, it’s whirring away, Changes in my brain. It turns up the heat on my life, forever waking up in the early hours of the morning. I would so love to sleep through the night. Life is so different now with God in your life, I am now armed with new depths of thinking, I see words now coming from me I never used before in my life. I’m not sure how or even quite sure I understand what has happened to me. But what I can tell you, that I know my life is coming from quietly different place that I have never been in before.

The freshness of a new life, the changes in my character, unrestricted life, has given birth to something I never expected to feel in my life. Changes can be dangerous in life, but what has made its way into my life, these early mornings I wake, is real and honest, and packed with simplicity, countless different emotions all at the same time. These things do happen in life, I would’ve never believed it before, but with God in your life anything is possible and all things can be made new again.

As I continue to dive into life now with Brandy, my new dog in my life. She was a pure gift from God we bonded so much in 3 short weeks. There is now more time to play, than I had before with Tibby and Charlie.

Today life is exciting the changes I’ve made, new people I am meeting all the time, new adventures, sometimes boldness. Life is within my grasp, sometimes a little out of reach. This life is now part of me, I have never felt this good about life.

The way life was dictated to me, the rules I followed, although meekly, have somehow now gone out the window. I’m not lost anymore; I’m coming to know me as me.

I never thought that I could feel like this addicted to life, life is exciting when we give God a chance in life, it’s strange at first. Fulfilling.

It’s strange to feel satisfied with life, I know I will have my ups and downs still, but I’m statisfied how I am growing as a person. I’ve landed myself on my feet now. I read back over the words I’ve written about my life, my words have grown along with me. It might sound silly but it is true.

I have actually worked out why my writing to some degree has come to a standstill at times, because I’m now at peace with my soul. Excited about living.

 

Change now lives within

My soul lives within the wind
Moments all but a second
These moments forever change us
So deeply the impact, our hearts awoken,
I Haven’t felt the flames of change, in such force
These moments of time
We will never forget
Nor turn away from them
Moments that changed me
Changed our lives
Fear stops me from turning back
Life is moving forward, taking new steps each day
Old ways are now turning to dust, as I walk through life
New stories are born each day
As my soul now lives within the winds of change
Each day now is a new adventure, with a decision
To keep change alive with my soul
A gift from God that lives and changes within you
Faith in God, strength in God’s merciful faith
I’ve struggled. I learned to grasp at faith never letting go
Deep inside me, I knew, I believed, there was a God
My world would change, I feel different now,
Different than anything else
My soul now lives within me
I feel the wind pass me by now
Change now lives within your soul

(c)bjsscribbles

Strength and determination

Strength and determination
As uncertain as destiny
Gathers in our mind
Lightening moments, bolt, shock, stimulate
Frivolous in flight, strength and determination
With my head held hight
Determination gives strength
From soul to soul, across my world
As a birds wings flutter
And the thoughts we utter
As forests touch the wind
Wings flutter, across my world

Dreams galore gather
Clouding my vision
At times bitter thoughts have power
To hide gnawing, corroding, my mind
Destroying the brightest light
Think love in determination
There’s hope in strength anew
Dreaded thoughts, give determination
The right to succeed
Renovating a blessed life
With the sword of faith held high

(C)bjsscribbles

Tomorrow, life is but an adventure

There have been a few challenging, situations in my life lately. I’ve been working through them with help. There are times when I cannot believe how far I have traveled, how writing helps you see the many challenges of life.

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The time in our life
All the things I’ve done, and how it’s been
I think about living, my mind, believing in my life
I know now, God was waiting for me
The sun shines each day,
I’ve been lucky, God has given me the gift of life
A second chance in life
A chance to talk of my writing, my life
God’s gift of prayer and all the things we believe
This time in my life how great it is to have memories
And dreams to share, today and tomorrow

So many days pass now, Oh! how quickly they pass
Time whispers around me, in the depth of winter

Moving quickly through Spring and Summer
The timely changes of life frighten me, but I still smile
Each day I grow a little older, maybe wiser, I hope
My life has been good to me, I feel there is more yet for me to do
With God at my side, so many things my mind has never known
Tomorrow, life is but an adventure

Finding life where I have, it’s been a good life here
God gave me a second chance at life, to hang around a little longer
Sit among the stars, watching a falling star
A chance to talk of my writing, my life
God’s gift of prayer and all the things we believe
This time in my life how great it is to have memories
And dreams to share, today and tomorrow is but an adventure
(c)bjsscribbles

 

Renovating your heart, Renovating your thoughts

Thoughts how they gather
Words are thoughts
Gathered in our mind
They don’t need wings
To fly
Lightening bolt moments
That gather, from soul to soul
As a birds wings flutter

 

A bitter thought has the power to hide
Gnawing at your heart, hiding
It still has the power to corrode
Destroying your mind

If we think love
There is times when we don’t
Yet we can encourage love
Lighting the world
Renovating your heart
Renovating your thoughts

Matthew 12:25 Knowing their thoughts, Jesus said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation, and every city or house divided against itself will not stand.

Exodus 28:3 You shall speak to all who are wise-hearted, whom I have filled with the spirit of wisdom, that they make Aaron’s garments to sanctify him, that he may minister to me in the priest’s office.

(c)bjsscribbles