We never walk alone

Storm clouds roll through the night
lightening shatters the sky
the loud cry of the wind rips through me
The ocean rises, rolling high
My heart fills with terror
Despair I cannot leave
My thirst for peace gathers
In the quiet of the storm
Prayer fill my heart

When unable to think
My faith sometimes slips
Into the old ways
Friends that leave, betray
My heart longs, for those
Who left
There are times when night rolls through the day
Darkness has been endless
I wonder about the light of day
Longing again to see the light
When I see the light
Prayer has filled my heart

Feel, the gentle winds of the heavens
Sometimes I look to the heavens
Trying to feel the answers
I know God is walking with me
God lives in us all
He holds my hand as I walk
Just to know God is there
Watching over me
Night and day, he listens
When prayer fills my heart
Through all crisis pray
God leaves a puzzled heart
Un puzzled

(c)bjsscribbles

Let the guiding winds prevail

Trust in yourself
Our own untried capacity
As though you would trust God
The soul radiated from the whole
We dream what forces lay deep
Across the vast oceans, the greatest of oceans
The silent mind, rolls deep
Go seek your dreams across an ocean
Let the guiding winds prevail
Those passions which favour

No man, can limit, your strength
Such achievements, triumphs,
You never thought you could attain
May you believe in our creator
Press on, achieve
Some feet will tread
The ground yet covered
And finally, discover
With God at your side

Your achievements

(c)bjsscribbles

Taking positive action, living a dream

Protecting your dreams sometimes can come at a price, no-matter what I do now protect my dreams

Lately there have been so many things thrown at me, rocking me to the core, challenging me to stand and be counted. But I won’t quit my life and my new beliefs. My dream now is mine and I won’t let anyone take them from me. When there is criticism of my dreams, I question myself, I used to abandon my dreams, I felt destroyed. My dreams are a gift from God, from the heavens, I have struggled to get where I am, and my dreams have called for commitment. Life can be testing and has been testing me lately.

Storms have been brewing lately, gaining strength, I did stand firm, not budge, I haven’t wavered keeping myself firmly planted on the ground. Circumstances in life changed, changes, tests, a side of me has awakened that I have not known for such a long time. I love and enjoy get stuck into challenges now as I know I am succeeding.

Today I rise to the occasion, not falling into pieces; I remember the many times I fell into a heap. I didn’t know myself. I admit it takes all my strength to stay firm.

I have made my choices; my choice is made as I see what is happening in my life. Like purchasing a new little dog, it’s my choice, not everyone else’s. Believing what I have done is going to bring me success, giving me a chance to move forward again in my life. But if I believe it was wrong them it would be wrong and I would fall. I am stepping up in ways that are healthy for me and enabling me to handle pressure.

There are times when I’ve told myself to stay positive, been firm with myself, I did not want to feel anything. My heart had become harder, instead I now regroup and keep moving forward.

If you stay keeping hold of the old, you are glue to the past life. I created a new plan of attack with a completely new breed of dog. Lately I have felt  a very new person, getting to know her is so different. Actually the new Barb is exciting, I do feel exciting. Moving forward each day, not looking back to the past..

There were so many question about my life, all the “Why’s” and “Wherefores’” , believe me I have been in mental prison.  Opening the can of worms of my life has been healing. I no longer need that can of worms; today I stand for what is possible in my new life. Today I can make choices, conscious of success

No longer wanting to sink down into misery, I am making my life work for me.

 

©bjsscribbles

Brandy a silky Australian terrier

Has come into my life.

Peace and relaxation now, lately I have been thinking a great deal about getting a new puppy and finally one came into my life yesterday. I know the picture of her looks rough, I have her booked for Monday for a full spruce up. I made her bed up last night, she took one look at my bed and said that is where I am sleeping. I didn’t mind. In the photo she is having her first taste of yoghurt, all my dogs shared the empty yoghurt containers.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

(c)bjsscribbles

Our Inner thoughts

When we are dealing with thought, thoughts create problems, and a thought can be changed.

Our inner thoughts, our experiences, life experiences, are a product of our problems. My life changing experiences have taken me on a road of self-discovery, learning not to hate myself, thinking I was a bad person for staying so long in a relationship that was so toxic. My thoughts produced a feeling of anxiety for so many years, leading to PTSD.

It takes an experience of witnessing an assault last week for me to realise, I did not buy into the argument and was able to walk away. My anxiety did rise a little for a couple of days, but I recovered quickly. I drove the thoughts out of my mind changing the feelings of terror, fear. I did report the incident to the police and council. The feeling did leave me quickly.

I am working on controlling my anxiety and PTSD, not using it as an excuse to stay hovelled up in my apartment/unit.  Realising the past has no power, I can control the negativity, feeling free in the moment is so important to me now. My thoughts ruled me for so long, it is true, and the list of fears would be so long, fearful thoughts that ruled me for a life time.

It was a habit with me, thinking the same thought over and over, in the end the choice was mine to make. Today I try desperately not to go down the road of negative thoughts; I set it in my mind not to. For so many years I had no way of experiencing positive thoughts.

There are so many people with life experience that live long suffering life, self-hatred, guilt; I admit I am one of them. Today I work on changing my life on all levels and keeping my self-respect I won back. I always felt I am not good enough, the thoughts were pushed down my throat for so many years, I did not know how to get out. The other thought I used so often, “I don’t deserve this”. Turning life experience around

It’s taken me a long time to get life altogether, it’s still a work in progress. Something would always go wrong, when I thought everything was going to run perfectly for a while. Sometimes resentment creeps in along with guilt, fear still causing problems for me. It’s problems I created by taking on board problems. This has caused problem for my health and in my life. I can take responsibility for taking on board the life stress. We are all responsible for everything in our life. Taking responsibility for what I take on board in my thoughts has sent people elsewhere. Claiming my life, my thoughts, I am no longer a door mat, for abuse. (c)bjsscribbles

 

There is a stillness in the air.

I found my deep sense of truth when I settled in a sleepy valley; I walked the ridges, hills, which bring a swift chill on a spring morning as you walk. Spending time here on my own, I held onto so many questions, I’ve needed answers for so many years. Interestingly while I know it would be beneficial to have answers, I didn’t know how hard it would be to reflect on the answers.

There is something about wandering, the trails of a sleepy valley, it brings out the joy, the spirit of God flows in my heart when I walk. There is a stillness that makes me delve into a deeper level of conversation with God. There is nothing between me and God to disturb our conversation, no outside influences. Just me, the fresh air how great the feeling.

Life becomes so much clearer as I walk; constant chatter from white noise disappears. It’s just me being me; no mask is needed as I walk. It just you or me walking, it can be challenging. During good and bad days, when I’m down walking is hard.

A liberating as walking is, there is always work to do. I see a path as I walk, I wonder where it will lead or if I was meant to travel this path. So many things I let go of as I walk. Disappointments, achievements, yet I create my life. Sometimes opportunities I see for a quick moment, God’s vision for me.

Now as each day rolls into one sometimes, I realise it’s the way life has always been. There’s no more to add or anything else to take away, or to place in a box closing the lid and forgetting that part of life happened. As hard as it is to let go of annoying habits, that have haunted me for many years. Today there are still possibilities. Now life is revealed, and everything has a clear intention.

Many things will change for me over the next few months and into the New Year. I have discovered a new world with God. I know I’m not done yet, there is so much more life ahead of me, I’ve had a taste of life and new experiences

Many things are going to change over this year. Last year with all of my traveling represented a opportunity for discovering the world. I know I’m not done yet but I’ve had a great taste of what that experience is like. My world has changed.

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

 

Strength and determination

Strength and determination
As uncertain as destiny
Gathers in our mind
Lightening moments, bolt, shock, stimulate
Frivolous in flight, strength and determination
With my head held hight
Determination gives strength
From soul to soul, across my world
As a birds wings flutter
And the thoughts we utter
As forests touch the wind
Wings flutter, across my world

Dreams galore gather
Clouding my vision
At times bitter thoughts have power
To hide gnawing, corroding, my mind
Destroying the brightest light
Think love in determination
There’s hope in strength anew
Dreaded thoughts, give determination
The right to succeed
Renovating a blessed life
With the sword of faith held high

(C)bjsscribbles

Provide a time limit on anger

There was a time when I would not speak up for myself, letting people walk all over me. When the tables are turned people get a shock, people do not know how to handle the change. I am still a peace maker, I like peace in my life.

This was something I needed to write. Handling my life with God’s help.

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“Don’t let the sun go down on your anger”
Fed up with interference, not saying anything about annoying habits,
Being talked about behind your back, finally with the strength of God
You can confront a person about a problem, unfortunately,
Both parties ding their heels in, my anger has always had trouble,
I am a peacemaker, I usually suppress my feelings,
It takes a while for me to explode, I stewed too long in my life,
Creating a breeding ground for bitterness, It’s time to speak the truth
I started to learn, provide a time limit on anger, holding it in, is no good,
Place it at the feet of God, He can fight the explosion of anger,
The power of God’s forgiveness and love, He can save us

Anger can implode out of control, put out the blaze of anger with God’s help
We fear, I know I’ve feared what people think of us, It’s hard to admit,
When we are angry, There is a lifetime of anger, stress built up in my body
I’ve tried to keep, relationships intact, in harmony, speaking the truth in love,
But when it’s not accepted, I had to walk away, staying within my comfort zone,
Only time will tell, I’ve listened, to the other persons perspective,
There is the love of God, with the goal of restoration, one day.

“Don’t let the sun go down on your anger”

Col 3:8  But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth.
Psa 37:8  Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: fret not thyself in any wise to do evil.
Pro 14:29  He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.
Jas 1:19  Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
(c)bjsscribbles

Being the creator of your life

Living my promises I made to myself, deep within my mind I buried them. Not wanting to go back to my promises. Deep within the forest covered in fog, year after year I desired to complete a simple challenge. So many unexpected challenges of life seemed to get in the way.

The storms of life came all so often, in those days my roots were not strong enough to hold on. As the storm brewed, a wind blew; I was pulled in so many directions, confusing my mind. My grounding, my morals, I was taught to be where I was no matter what happened. When the winds, thunder storms of life, blew, the storms of life refused to move.

Someone said, “Why not go over the writing you have done?” I have been thinking lately about the words, which have been written. Many words helping sort out my mind, those words are still there but are not appropriate anymore as I have moved forward. I realise how much, I have moved on and keeping the strength to keep doing so. Sometimes everyone needs to do so and I’ve done so lately. I am now the creator of my life and what it becomes.

Becoming the creator of the days of one’s life is something special. I do what I want now, when I want; I can just sit and dream if I wish. Oh! It is a pleasure. I am proud of my choices, the sense of freedom in life.

I’ve been seeking many answers to life, wondering which way to turn at times, these have been some of the greatest experiences. I’ve asked so many questions, as I walk the hills of the Barossa. The questions of life that come from the heart of my soul with God walking beside me..

I know I am home now; I am at peace with my destiny

Over the past few years I’ve been cleaning, casting out, the mess created in the past. The protective coating we hang onto unnecessarily.  A life times of stories being told, how to act, and all the words that were forced down my throat. Getting me to conform to ways of old, cover ups of life. It has taken me most of my life to have my eyes opened and to shed these parts of my life. I can now spend the last part of my life being me and walking the path that God has set out for me. Day by day I discover new feelings deep within my heart.

At times, I’ve had to rehash parts of my life seeking to get through to the other side of healing. I have achieved healing, but with sheer determination to get through to the other side. Without the healing of God and those that care I would not be where I am today. I would still be the person I was 6yrs ago.

 

My writing has been my therapy and those words, sharing has saved my life along with Salvation from God.

©bjsscribbles

 

 

 

 

 

 

The path to peace, can be simple

So many questions
Questions rattled my mind
Largely remained unanswered
I’ve been holding onto life
Till I realised it’s time to change

I’ve had glimpses of life
Leading to the way ahead
God has shown me small steps
Stepping stones to a world
Illuminated right in front of me
A sense of life in the big picture
Pieces still yet to be filled in
Yet leading me to what I needed to do and needed to let go of
I prayed and prayed earnestly, God showed me
How! the brain fog was lifted
It was so easy, to gain peace

The path to peace,
Can be simple if we let it
I felt as though
I was traveling along the path
But didn’t really know it
I just really needed to
Believe in myself
God was showing me a lesson in life

I wandered in a blur
For so many years, then,
There had been a silence that had fallen
Leaving enough space, to show me
Letting go, learn to let go, echoed
Where do I go next?
There are still parts of my life
I need to step back from

 

And so I am
I wont say it is easy
There are moments
When I fall into the old
Then turn commit to right choice
Again and again
Not looking back

 

.(c)bjsscribbles