If only

 

My changing face of life came late in life, but my life is still a work in progress. My face has not changed but the mask that I wore for so many years has changed.

 

Would life be so much simpler if we could lift that mask early in life? For some of us it just doesn’t happen till we are ready.

I was so uncomfortable, trying to be someone, I wasn’t. I wore the mask of someone in pain during my life for a long time. Wearing that face, I became someone so alone unable, to connect fully with people. I don’t know fully how it all happened, I do really, and it was from a time when I was so oppressed in life. For far too many years, I was insignificant. I still get nervous in crowds but life is getting easier. I try to play down my achievements for some reason. I am not sure, I think it was because my Dad was such a humble person. I am now starting to show the world what I have achieved even in my writing.

 

You can come out the other side, but still I am apprehensive about what scares me.

 

I faced so many fears as I worked with my psychologist; I have developed more courage, more strength in the past few months. I actually partly have been running on adrenaline with some of the things I have been doing. I am amazed what I am capable of. I think as I face new challenges in life, the fear has given me strength to keep moving forward.

I think of some of the things I achieved since I have been on my own, I have done out of fear. I traveled Australia. I did it on my own. There was a great deal of people out there doing the same as me; few were single women with a couple of dogs. Settling in a strange town on my own, facing barrages of questions, “Who are you?” everyone desiring to know who this strange person was with two dogs. “Where are you from?” what drove you to this place? There were so many questions I didn’t wish to answer, but slowly I did.

 

I am not in the same place; I challenge myself now to different answers. I am a different person now.

I feel I am on top of the mountain now. It’s been a slow climb, but I made it.

I had this moment up on the top of the mountain that is hard to explain. A deep feeling of emotion lately. Being able to breathe, without panic.

When I journey now, where ever I journey, I look up into the sky, “I have arrived, thank you for giving me life” I am going to keep doing, what I am doing, journeying outside my comfort zone. To challenge myself, body and mind, to be stronger each day than I ever was in life.

Finding you, myself, I have developed different beliefs; I attempt things I have never done before in my life. Not settling for mediocrity.

Facing what is thrown at you in life is hard work, learning to face yourself every day, challenging yourself to try and do things you have never done before. This is hard. At first, I found it very easy to stay huddled up, wallowing in self-pity, it seemed the easy way out. Then I found I, had to get out there and live, not being walked on by everyone else.  Climbing those mountains life challenges, I had to take those challenges on to see what happens. Why not give a mountain challenge with God on your side and see what happens.

The mountains, the challenges I have faced will stay with me for a long time. It signifies special moments in my life. Taking down the mask of life and putting myself to the test of life.

Writing my blog has enabled me to see how far I have traveled, how much I have faced in my journey.

Everyone has faced mountains in their life, when we do we take the experience with us and grow building us up, instead of bringing us down. The mask of life only comes off when we go outside our self and journey beyond our comfort zone.

My scenes of my life I have created help me make decisions to tear down the many masks I wore and face my fears.

 

How many mountains have you climbed? Can you repeal the many masks of life?

(c)bjsscribbles

 

Shy yet glamours Australian bird the Kingfisher

 

 

I sit beside the lake listening in the sun
Quietly watching, Kingfishers on branches
A little noise and a flap of the wings
Lift off and further chatter, they dive into the lake
What danger for the fish huddling in spools beneath the water
Bush garden nearby, they feel the wind, They’re flying to rest
They were born to fly and fish, that is their life
Wind and water is their home, near the bush
They fly over the lake, nestling where I watch
Others stand nearby watching in awe
Of the majestic Australian bird

Kingfishers follow the water, Birds of
Australia created by God, Follow their
food chain. Glisten across they sky
With a magical chatter
They fly, they fly

They feed by the water
Dropping deep into the water
Flashing through the sky
Amazing creations by God

I wonder how they know,

Where feed is?

(c)bjsscribbles

Live in the presence of God

Fearless, exiled from all
Unscrupulous foes, surround
One thing desired, above all else
A simple place of peace
Beyond a city, where unscrupulous foes
Abide,

Live in the presence of God
In God’s house, we may live day by day

We are in God’s light,
No sun or candle needed
We are in God’s light

Though we know it not
Our eyes are opened
To see where we are

God who made the world
So fair, yet triumph
Changes to sadness
Sometimes God hides from us
In abandonment our soul reaches out to
Our Redeemer, who controls the wind and waves
God draws us to him in trust, gathering us from exile

(c)bjsscribbles

The full wonder of God

Walking through life
We experience constant change
Figures, sometimes pass
Through life, in time we sense
Passing on its effect
Far beyond what is usual, in magnitude or degree
Memory sometimes lapse

The things of life, called experience
We call the wonders of nature
Created by God
Natures growth of all
Tho memory of all sometimes lapses
Far beyond what is usual, in magnitude or degree
We experience constant change, thro’ God
As man experiences life
We pass on life experiences
Thro’ the effect of life
We experience constant change
Memory sometimes lapses
In time we sense
Natures picture
As all things pass that we have known
Thro’ life experience
In time we experience
The full wonder of God
(c)bjsscribbles

1 Kings 3:12
behold, I have done according to your words. Behold, I have given you a wise and discerning heart, so that there has been no one like you before you, nor shall one like you arise after you.

1 Kings 4:30
Solomon’s wisdom surpassed the wisdom of all the sons of the east and all the wisdom of Egypt.

1 Kings 10:23
So King Solomon became greater than all the kings of the earth in riches and in wisdom.

Ecclesiastes 2:9
Then I became great and increased more than all who preceded me in Jerusalem. My wisdom also stood by me.

Free in spirit

Life with purpose
What is it we?
Are trying to find?
Each and everyone of us?
We question every movement
The desire to pave the way

Those with the need
A need to impress
Desires with egos’
There are reason
For those with needs
For the benefit of others
Something needs to be done
Daily matter of life
That needs to be addressed

Life caught up in the
Pace of a millennium
Sometimes life is a
Whirlwind, fast forward
All the time
Good times, bad times
Why does life need to be complicated?

Why are we here on earth?
I’ve often wondered
All that I achieve
Maybe it will make the path of life
Easier for someone else
And fitting for someone else
To follow me

I am here and now
It is good for me
My simple way of life
For each year of my life
Simple, yet life’s truth is simple
At times, I know, we struggle
When we are at one with life
Our mind and body are free
Free in spirit, at one with God

(c)bjsscribbles

Your voice

Today I look to my heart,
My soul once tainted by others,
My soul now changed,
How many things have changed,
The fire and passion, ignited,
A reason to live,
A vision in my eyes,
I see, as I search into my heart
Reasons still alive, as I daily live,
Yet at times, You can’t seem to figure it out,
Deep inside, your heart there is an answer,
Believe, I still believe
There are times when I cannot speak the words,
Yet, You are willing to listen
My confidence is there, when I know You are listening
I feel Your eyes, watching me, Your eyes speak for You,
I just need to hear Your voice, so I can get through the day.

(c)bjsscribbles

You led me home

Oh! Dear Lord,
You led me to home
A home of peace
I have found

 

The toils of my life,
Have ended, my life has changed
I’m free now, to roam
As I please
You led me home, Dear Lord

 

No more temptation
No more sin
Yet we are sinners
If I fall, Lord, I come to You
You will Lead me
To my place of peace

 

In my darkest hours
Lord, I came to You
With my prayers
My troubles were dark
I saw no light
Yet Lord, You kept me
From falling away
Now I am free to roam
And You will lead me home

 

If I fall, Lord, I will come to You
You will Lead me
To my place of peace

(c)bjsscribbles

1 John 2:1
My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate before the Father–Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.