Not hiding the shame

Lately I have started walking in my life openly, talking more about the life I led before I came to the place I am at now. I don’t hide what happened in my life anymore, it is such a great feeling to live openly and honestly.

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We live a life
Sometimes not talking
Hiding the shame of life

Yet there comes a time
When we need to talk
Not hiding the shame
My shame covered me
Covered my life
I find now

It’s okay, to say, “I’m not Okay”
There are days when we can ask, “RU Okay”
Because in life sometimes, we are not really okay

Ever tried putting up a smile
Trying to convince everyone
You’re alright, it’s hard work

For years, I live my life like that
Hiding behind a smile, believing
Before achieving
When you are hurt
Really hurt emotionally
Or physically
You don’t have to hide
Or pretend

For a long time I hid my wounds
Till I found I was not alone
We all have wounds
After all we are individuals and human
To be real, and authentic
Is a challenge till we do
We will never heal

I pretended for so many years
My soul knew the truth
It knew I was hiding, lying
Healing came slowly, honestly
And with compassion
Love, forgiving, learning

Healing came as I walked into the dark side of my life
Not hiding, as I walked out of the dark and toward the light of God
I learned I was walking in the light, discover the light

(c)bjsscribbles

 

3 thoughts on “Not hiding the shame

  1. Amen. One has to take off the mask. It is not healthy to be the Great Pretender. This world is not a Land of Make Believe. I too am trying to live a more open life. Journaling and Blogging help. There is no shame in being sad, frustrated or shedding tears. The shortest verse in the Bible is Jesus wept. God created us with feelings and emotions. All are valid we just need a proper positive way to express them that does not hurt others. I find writing and photography helps me a lot. Plus my cat Sylvester is my therapy kitty cat.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are so right, with your comment. I wrote a great deal to get my emotions out. Photography is another great way in getting your emotions out. I wrote around a great deal of what happened in my life, but never hitting the nitty gritty of it all. 35 yrs of domestic violence abuse. You can imagine where my head was. My psychologist helped me so much this last 6 month with imagery dealing with my demons has worked wonders leading to writing a little differently. At the moment I am living with joy, peace and happiness, my little corner of South Australia. I do miss my dogs, I have birds now that make the same noise as Tibby and Charlie did when they were babies. So thank you for your comment. I value them. I know I am one of the lucky ones to arrive on the other side of a marriage. Thanks to God.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I know what you mean Bj I use to be called Happy Annie but after the Party was over I use to go home and cry. Everyone loved my jokes but nobody knew how lonely I was and than like you I came out of the darkness and saw the Light of Jesus and if I cry now I’m no longer alone He sends comfort.

    Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfil the law of Christ.

    Romans 12:15 Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep.

    2 Corinthians 1:3-5 Blessed be God even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ The Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort who comforteth us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.

    Matthew 11:28 – 30 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

    Christian Love Always – Anne.

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