I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking about my return, to blog, or not to blog. Blogging has won out in the end. My reason being is that my blog has contained a great deal to do with my past; this year has enabled me to act upon the changes in my life. To change or not to change. I can write on my blog and change. I truly needed a break.
I recently was lucky enough to have a holiday with Tibby, her last; unfortunately. Even though she was not strong, I carried her everywhere in a carry bag and believe me she lapped everything up all the spoiling and the bacon from my breakfast. She kept alive for that week, so we could enjoy the week together.
Losing my life long companion Tibby 2 weeks ago put my return on hold for a couple of more weeks. I have had to change things in my unit as I felt her around me so much. Her spirit of life, her cheekiness still lingers. Both of my dogs will linger in my heart for a lifetime, they were special.
My year has been full of ups and downs since my surgery, when you think you’re on the road to recovery, something went wrong, numerous things; to numerous to mention and I wish to forget them now. After my surgery, it was my dream for everything to run smoothly; God had other plans for me. Telling me I was moving along too quickly and wanted me to slow down. I have learned a few lessons this year, “Be still” and be with God.
Long term pain medication did a number on my body; I understand why people go searching for drugs. It’s hard to forget the struggle of the last nearly two years Now that I am healthy and off all drugs. Those times are exhausting when I think of them; I really wish to put it all behind me now.
This year I have struggled to write, I enjoy writing, creation can be the light of your life it has been to me. There has been a freedom though about this year, a freedom that has been hard to explain. I feel free for the first time in my adult life. I came out to the world in my blog my fears, my troubles; by doing so, I am free.
Thanks to God I am living stress free, God has enabled me to move on in my life, where I see people bound by stress, finding life hard to move on. I realise I have God in my life, I pray for forgiveness each day making my life so much lighter. I gave a talk this year on my life, it was scary an emotional, I needed to recover after that; actually I was glad I did it. Thanks be to God I am where I am.