To the highest point

Hike the mountainous gorge
To the highest point
Great nature not to disappoint
Up God’s pathway
Looking up to Jesus
Not to waver of the path

Hike the mountainous gorge
Hard though it may seem
To the highest point
Jesus is there waiting for you
You will find your dream

Upon the mountainous gorge
Find a life fulfilled
With Love and peace
You will find your dream
In His arms
Life beyond your dreams
That will never leave you
In Jesus name Amen.

(c)bjsscribbles

In and around Melbourne

A long iced cold coffee was a welcome drink during my time in Melbourne and the Australian open.  The picture of the car was taken because with the crowds, it was the closest I could get to Rafa Nadal

The garden were peaceful surrounded with water displays. It’s a very busy place, busier than I remember. My ride on the Puffing billy around the Dandenong ranges were exciting. The main thing I could do is raise my feet and stick them out the window to cool down.

(c)bjsscribbles

 

Life experience, resting with God

I wrote this because It is something I have to remind myself, continually now, as I experience, new emotions. Some things I have never experienced before in my life.

 

 

As I walk closer with God now and realise where my life is at, I know there is going to be disappointments, discouragement, which are all normal emotions. We all will experience these emotions whether we are Christians or not. By pressing closer to God as I have found I can make sure I don’t let these emotions get the better of me again.

A long time ago now I was discouraged by life not knowing where to turn, my family just didn’t get what was going on in my life. In the midst of my suffering and questioning whether there was God or someone out there that could help me. Family heaped so much more on me, I was blamed for the afflictions of alcohol by my partner arguments and abuse. In the Bible a noted character Job was depressed, disillusioned by life and family. Others don’t understand what we are going through, or don’t wish to get involved as we wished they would. Our disappointment can turn to discouragement. Believe me turning to God, searching for answers in a battlefield of the mind can lead to finding peace.

Despite our prayers, sometimes things don’t turn out the way we want them to, you as I did can become discouraged with life. When I repented and came to God first asking for forgiveness, forgiving myself, then my heart softened slowly. I was so angry the way my life had fallen, discouraged with those around me, with no perspective in life. I wondered if there was hope in God. I couldn’t see the bigger picture of a life the God was placing before me.

In the beginning I felt so discouraged with myself, my pride kept me from seeing myself clearly. While my pride kept my doors closed to the outside world, God denied me the world. We can feel discouraged, depressed, when we fail to live up to someone else expectations. Till I worked out it was my own expectations I had to live up to. Discouragement happens to us all, don’t let it swallow your life it almost did mine.

I found myself over the holidays, working with God has given me strength. Before I was not honest with myself, so many feelings were going through my body, I did not know how to handle them. I sought God further. The biggest thing I learned was not to pretend, I was alright. The first thing in coming to God is admit you need God or someone to help you. Learning how to process your negative feelings through God has helped me get where I am today.

I am more conscious of what I put through my body today, my body just was not working a couple of years ago, today with my body on the right track, my mind, emotions are strong. God tended to my body first, before addressing all of my other problems. Oh! There was many mental problems God had to deal with for me. Circumstances of life had drained me dry, God wanted me to press the pause button, on my life and take time to be me and reconnect as I did, simply rest and refresh.

By paying attention to my thoughts last year led to where I am today, maturing as a believer, maturing as Barbara, I thought truthfully about where I am at in my life and my relationship with God. We attempt to make sense of what happens in our lives, we try to figure out, why this, or that happens and what it all means. Today I found it crucial that I pay attention to my thoughts, with everything that goes through my mind, or what particular situation. Sometimes our thoughts can lead to discouragement. When thoughts change in your mind and heart, negative emotions can creep in. Even though life stays the same.

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The pain across your brow, pressing on every side of your body can strike you down, I know it did me more than once. It can leave you almost destroyed. Today I have learned firmly to fix my eyes upon God. Searching God for His spiritual help, therefore we do not loose heart or sight of God. I know it is hard, life is hard. Fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is, unseen is, eternal. There is pain in life, don’t let discouragement win.

We all know the truth, life is hard, people do disappoint and hurt us. We don’t always understand what is going on. Since coming to know the Lord, I have found Him to be a stronghold in my life. In times of trouble, God’s faith, trust, always gets me through. I found during the years of turmoil in my life, troubles became unbearable. Since building a relationship with God, handing my troubles to God at the foot of the cross, life became easier.

I know myself, I give thanks to God for the life He has given me with much Gratitude. It helps so much and is so powerful in dispersing discouragement. I now look for things that I can be grateful for each day keeping my life on track, I know I can do it now with God walking beside me.

(c)bjsscribbles.

Deuteronomy 31:8

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

 

Joshua 1:9

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lordyour God will be with you wherever you go.”

 

Job 6:20

They are distressed, because they had been confident; they arrive there, only to be disappointed.

 

Isaiah 49:23

Kings will be your foster fathers, and their queens your nursing mothers. They will bow down before you with their faces to the ground; they will lick the dust at your feet. Then you will know that I am the Lord; those who hope in me will not be disappointed.”

 

Colossians 3:16

Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.

The unknown

The courage it took to take that first step into the unknown is enormous. I had no idea of what I was going to do or where I was going to live. Making a new life is full of ups and downs.
Finding the trust deep within myself, to trust myself again to make decisions. Showing myself to the world, getting to know myself after so many years. I look back now, when I see what I came from. I put so many demands on myself, I had to find faith. Dropping the past was the biggest hurdle, I know the dead past is now gone, this month is my first real big step into the new
Something deep inside has been poking at me saying, “It is time” taking the step mixing with people on the international stage at the Australian open is going to be unreal. There is a little fear inside my heart, but I’m not frightened. Each day now as my departure gets closer the excitement is overwhelming. I can now see my days are going to be full of fun an excitement.
Most people whom come through a life that was hard, never get to where I am. Fear still lives in my heart, but life gets easier and easier as time has moved forward. I know I will be challenged and tested.
I believe in the choices I have made, my courage has increased my ability to cope. Gathering my strength and belief in myself so late to me is my world of dreams complete.
I’m walking on a path starting the New Year with a challenge to see the world come together in Melbourne. It’s a commitment towards something I have never done before in my life. I will be writing about my challenge.
I’ve always had adventure in my heart, my new world is opening. I’ve pour out healing words about my life, now I can leave those words behind as my future starts. I know I have life experience, I am committed to making my life.
As I look back and see what I’ve achieved, remembering the moments that have made my life what it is today.
I’ve been thinking a great deal about my roots these last few months, and where I have come from. My love of tennis comes from my Dad. I’ve covered some territory these past few years searching, yet not connecting till now. Where I now live there is a network of support, so much energy comes from the people I have met, yet nourished my new life.
The way I’m starting my year, it’s going to be a year I will never forget. Keeping the momentum going through the year is going to be a challenge, but I know I will. Here’s to the future.

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

With my life changing experiences

With my life changing experiences, I am now at the stage where I am accepting full responsibility for how my life is going to span out now.

Everything in my life, my body is my responsibility, my thoughts are mine and mine alone, my feelings, I have not expressed for many years, today they are mine, my actions are my responsibility, all of it. How long I have waited for myself to express myself

I gave the power of my life to, too many people, power seeped out of my body. Too may people had control over my life an I didn’t know how to pull it back. Today my past is the past, there is still a little blame there I am holding onto myself. I cannot take full responsibility, because if I did then there would be no-one else in my life to have any say in how things turned. My past has made me whom I am today.

I can see it pretty clearly now, how my life kept me from becoming whom I am today. As the time gets closer, I feel I am being transformed as I walk walk onto the plane later this month.

My thoughts have changed, my thinking has come alive in a new world. My responsibility, creating a new mind, time and time again. Everything that has come across my path over the past few years has been moving towards this time. A clear meaning to how I am going to live my life now, steering me in the direction, I am now living.

I have travelled of the path, venturing slightly of path living the old ways then something happens and I am guided right back on track.

Going back over my journal reading the road I have travelled has been so thought provoking. In ways it has helped remind myself the mistakes I made in my life and whom I was back then. Connecting with myself on a deeper level rewarding myself finally in my life is thirst quenching. Untangling the mass that built up in the brain over the years, I can see myself as a young woman again. I feel proud of my achievements.

As I have travelled throughout my journeys, gaining spiritual wisdom through God. I’ve witnessed the old pieces of my life dying off. Who I thought I was, who I continually believed I was, is now pretty far off from who I really was.

Anxiety had moved throughout my body over last year and the lead up to Christmas and New Year. I had been trying to move my life in a direction of my choice, yet others were pulling toward the old. For a while I was successful, Keeping myself on track, then I had to be patient with myself in the challenging times.

Now having stepped into my life, my life, I believe it now, it’s what I should have been doing all along. Thing are moving quickly.

My mind was so clogged with everyone else wisdom and what they had done in their life,I was just holding on before I drowned. Removing the walls, I am moving forward.

The more I go through my journal all of it and more, I came to the conclusion where my spirit is it knows exactly what is good for me. I often tell my mind to listen, it puts up a fight and throws everything at me that is not good. That is the quality of Satan trying to get into your mind. When I get past that, everything is better than you could imagine.

As my trust is grown in myself, I trust my intuition more and more. I don’t know where my life is going to take me, there has been many massive curve balls thrown at me. There has been many wars going on in my mind, then it turns into a healthy direction, just go with it.

The more I am at war with life, I’ve learned, the more I loose, I’ve learned that lesson many times.

Trust in yourself and the wisdom of God, just go with the flow. And you’ll never go wrong.

(c)bjsscribbles

Do not shed tears but remember me

Since my holidays I’ve been doing a great deal of thinking. I have reconnected with the Barbara I knew many years ago. A girl that loved life,adventure. Meeting people talking with different people. When I stepped of the plane in Melbourne I remembered so much of my youth. I took a trip back in time. It’s quite a journey when you do, Emotions, flush through your mind, “Can I do this,?” While people are watching you, amaze yourself stand up as I did, aware of my surroundings. I knew God was with me as I walked around Melbourne, a world of unknown. It was a lifetime since I was there over 40yrs. Such an international city now leaving places like Adelaide sleeping.

I can hold onto the person I found, not knowing the future is exciting, knowing now whom I have become, one walking hand in hand with God at my side. Remembering whom I was helped me grow into the future. My heart was broken, bleeding. Now with a renewed body, mind, and spirit. I am walking into a new chapter of my life.
——————————————————————————————————————————–

Do not shed tears but remember me
I have now traveled a road not yet taken
Smile instead, remember me
Because I am living

Open your eyes and see
All that I have done
Pray to God with me
And share the life we are living
This dream I am living

There is a love, a friendship we share
Along the many roads
You may not be able to see me
But know I am still with you

You can turn your back on tomorrow
Living only for yesterday is not helpful
You can be happy for tomorrow
Because of what happened between us all yesterday
We can let the memories live on

Don’t turn your back on the world
You can do as you wish
Smile, but don’t cry
Enough tears have been shed
Live and go on

(c)bjsscribbles

Digital Camera

I’m taking a break 

I’m taking a break I need some time out. Being  exhausted and  looking forward to my holiday. My first real  reward since my life turned upside down in 2014. 

I enjoy  blogging  but I need to concentrate on my health as the days get closer to my holiday. 

(C)bjsscribbles

Life now within the Barossa

 

The courage it took to take that first step into the unknown is enormous. I had no idea of what I was going to do or where I was going to live. Making a new life is full of ups and downs.
Finding the trust deep within myself, to trust myself again to make decisions. Showing myself to the world, getting to know myself after so many years. I look back now, when I see what I came from. I put so many demands on myself, I had to find faith. Dropping the past was the biggest hurdle, I know the dead past is now gone, this month is my first real big step into the new
Something deep inside has been poking at me saying, “It is time” taking the step mixing with people on the international stage at the Australian open is going to be unreal. There is a little fear inside my heart, but I’m not frightened. Each day now as my departure gets closer the excitement is overwhelming. I can now see my days are going to be full of fun an excitement.
Most people whom come through a life that was hard, never get to where I am. Fear still lives in my heart, but life gets easier and easier as time has moved forward. I know I will be challenged and tested.
I believe in the choices I have made, my courage has increased my ability to cope. Gathering my strength and belief in myself so late to me is my world of dreams complete.
I’m walking on a path starting the New Year with a challenge to see the world come together in Melbourne. It’s a commitment towards something I have never done before in my life. I will be writing about my challenge.
I’ve always had adventure in my heart, my new world is opening. I’ve pour out healing words about my life, now I can leave those words behind as my future starts. I know I have life experience, I am committed to making my life.
As I look back and see what I’ve achieved, remembering the moments that have made my life what it is today.
I’ve been thinking a great deal about my roots these last few months, and where I have come from. My love of tennis comes from my Dad. I’ve covered some territory these past few years searching, yet not connecting till now. Where I now live there is a network of support, so much energy comes from the people I have met, yet nourished my new life.
The way I’m starting my year, it’s going to be a year I will never forget. Keeping the momentum going through the year is going to be a challenge, but I know I will. Here’s to the future.

With God now in my life all things are created new.

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

 

Where do I begin

I’ve search my screen for answers, now the decision, is where do I begin writing my story?
I’ve come to the position where my is closing one door an another is opening, so many things happened in my life. There is a huge gap in my life now as I wonder where I’m going to finish. I try looking around a corner for answers. I cannot let go of my old life altogether as there is two grown up daughters. I know the past is my life that was, but my new life is now created, I can involve my daughters. There will still be hurt, my healing will enable me to deal with the hurt. As time goes on the consequences will become clearer.
There are thoughts of challenges ahead, how do you let go of something that helped you survive? I am now the person I am today because of the life I led. I was able to get through the worst times of my life, because of the person I was. I had strength, even though I was wearing out. I felt there was someone looking out for me but did not know whom till now.
Writing this is going to be a challenge, I’ve struggled to get where I am. There is a desire for the healing of my mind body and spirit. The old story of my life rises from time to time manipulating my request to close the book on my old life over and over. Countless times my past rises and sabotages the path I have been following.
There is an outstretched hand reaching out to me, guiding me toward the light, footsteps invisible to the naked eye. Pulling me through the forest of life, I just have to never let go now, never turning back
I have started this process many times, never being able to complete the process. It has taken time, after all it was a lifetime I left behind. Maybe it is a lesson I have to learn, faith truth, trust, strength, courage. I struggled, a great deal over the past handful of years, it’s still all new. As a young person I lost my faith in God, but I have found my faith in God. When I was going through the thick of my healing, I felt so lost in all forms of life. I could not barely put two words together without stammering.
All of this time has led me up to this point. The next chapter, of my life, starting new pages that need to be written as I move forward. The changes that started a few short years ago, when the attempts at making a new life began. Now the new story begins, I have no idea what is going to happen, I know it’s beginning with an adventure and love of life. When I come home after January I wont stop writing or talking.
I know now, I just have to let go, the lessons of life will continue to flow. By letting go I can become more.
As I now close the old book of my life, It pushed me to live as I do now. It helped me become more than I could have ever thought I could be. I see all the moments that I have lived, I feel all the times I have failed and got back up, dusted myself off and started again. I have been resilient, in moving throughout my new life step by step.
I must use what I have learned, my willingness to heal, my faith is now relentless to believe.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.—Philippians4:6-7

January is going to be full, with a trip to the tennis, Australian open championships, for me all my dreams will come true. Turning 65 on centre court. I’ve come from nothing, I’ve grown as a person, full of courage, new found faith, and trust.
The unknowns and challenges leave me feeling anxious. I’ve achieved a great deal over the past few years. A new challenge is facing me as I said going to the Australian Open tennis, flying in a plane. Don’t laugh it is 46 yrs since I was on a plane. Planes now have engines not propellers. Making my way around Melbourne. I’ve been working on a to do list while I am there. I am remembering Paul’s words, “Don’t worry pray”
The word’s of Paul encourage us all. One thing I have come to realise “Life is not without uncertainties” as I read Paul’s words. What I continue to learn is God cares about our lives. All of us face major life transitions, family issues, health scares or most of all financial troubles. God has shown me, I can let go of my fears of the unknown, and stop worrying about what may or may not happen.
As I open the door to my next stage of life, I can rest in God’s promises, that his peace and understanding will guard my life as He does others. Guarding our heart and mind.
It is a blessing not to be anxious about anything, God reminds us we can come to Him about anything and everything. I praise God every morning for what He has done in my life and what He has done in many of my friends lives.
Knowing now God is in my life eases my mind, with prayer, we lift our anxiety
up to God and find comfort and peace in God’s hands. Replacing our anxiety with God’s trust.

(c)bjsscribbles

 

 

 

Dedicated to Brandy

A little friend came into my life 2 months ago now. She has been a pure gift from God, bringing joy to many people.

With so much sadness around in the world today, Brandy brings joy to your heart. I might be biased but to me she has the heart of “Grey friars Bobby”

 

20171124_15521320171210_163458 (2)

 

 

Her morning routine is made up of enjoying my coffee under my patio with Brandy at my side. She climbs on my lap, her brown eyes focused on my heart as though she knows my thoughts for the day.

I shower to ready myself for a walk, she is ever so helpful in trying to help me with my shoes. As soon as they are on my feet she is over by the door searching out her harness and leader.

I go out for meetings and my volunteer work, the joy when I arrive back is immeasurable, she almost gives you vertigo as she runs around in circles.
Imagine a Silky Terrier running in circles, when she picks up her favourite bone pressing it hard to make it squeak.

She is a spark in my life I missed for 12 months, a friend told me once many times fill the gap that was void after Tibby passed. It took a while but now it has happened. Brandy is far better than any medication Doctors can offer.

 

Brandy’s hair cut

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